O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.
I can still hear the voice on my message service from my son-in-law’s mother saying, “I don’t know how to tell you this but to just say it, Rachel has miscarried the baby.”
The pain darted through my heart like the searing of a hot knife. Here I was, on the other side of the country traveling in a rented moving truck and unable to get to my daughter.
Rachel had a long history of miscarriages and false pregnancies, and we had hoped she had made it through a critical point in this pregnancy by reaching seventeen weeks. The devastating news literally immobilized me for several moments. Sobbing, I picked up the phone to try and somehow contact my daughter. I needed to hear her voice; I needed to know she was physically safe; I needed to cry with her.
For months after this tragedy I was racked with a guilt that only a mother could know. My daughter experienced the worst nightmare for any parent, and I, her parent, wasn’t there. Over and over again, I kept asking myself, why weren’t you there? And telling myself, you should have been there. The tears still sting my eyes as I reach back into my memory and relive that very painful time.
My daughter, knowing my pain and guilt that still racked me, told me,
“Mom, you have always been there for me, but this time you weren‘t suppose to be there. For the first time in a long time my Dad was there to see me through. It brought us closer; and more importantly, I think God needed to teach me that He can take care of me. Loosing Sarah has been the most painful thing in my life, but because of Jesus, I know I will have eternity with her.”
God’s faithfulness abounds! As a parent, to hear your child glorify God through her tragedy is truly a victory. A victory for Christ!
A year to the date of loosing our precious princess, Sarah, God blessed us doubly with a set of twins, Hayden and Lauren. It was not an easy pregnancy for my daughter. In her first and second trimesters, she was racked with horrible morning sickness that sent her to the hospital on several occasions. She was also tested and found to have an antibody that caused blood clots to form. This was the main reason she had miscarried Sarah. She was then placed on a blood thinner and from twenty-one weeks on she was hospitalized and put on complete bed rest.
Throughout the whole pregnancy, my fear was not only for the twins she carried, but also for my daughter’s health and safety. But God, in His absolute sovereignty, went before us in everything! He lead her to a high risk pregnancy doctor who was also a Godly man. The hospital she stayed in had pictures of Jesus everywhere, and a prayer was said over the intercom as they started each day, and before their meals. The nurses were always uplifting and encouraging. Even on the day she delivered, God had worked through the doctors and the staff at the hospital to bring our twins and my daughter into a safe delivery. Not only did He bless us with our twins, but He taught us a powerful lesson in His sovereignty and His faithfulness.
Now my daughter has three children that share the same birthday. We will always be able to remember our Sarah and celebrate the twins' birth. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto thee! God is so awesome!