Fast With Your Mouth Shut!
Inspired by real character types, names fictional
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Two ladies knelt at the altar to pray
Others were coming in
It was a special prayer meeting day
To help them more souls to win
Sister Bea, like a stinging bee
Made a catty comment to Sister Lenore
Lenore wore a size fourteen at least
But Bea boasted a petite size four.
Hello again, it's Bea, dear Lord
I came my petitions to bring
I pray certain saints will sacrifice more
And brave a bit more pain.
I came to pray in a fasted state
So You could Your blessing outpour
Certain others are feasting today
Her hungry eyes bored through poor Lenore.
I thank You, dear Lord, that I've grown so wise
Here are just a few of my gems
I've got a large heart but kept a small size
Christ's Bride must stay slim for Him!
How can we move massive mountains
If we can't control our own flesh?
Discipline calls for calorie countin'
And learnin' to eat less and less.
Bea's "prayers" grew louder and louder
Lenore heard the worst of her words
When Lenore left she looked much sadder
All that altar ammunition sure hurt.
Sister Mary appeared mighty peeved
When she learned how Lenore had been scorned
I hope you're proud as punch, Sister Bea
You made a real meal of your fast for the Lord!
You never took time to know Lenore
I've known her for twenty-odd years
She stays up real late to pray to the Lord
Her prayers are well-seasoned with tears.
Lenore lost her sister six years ago
Anorexia drove her to her grave
Lenore's dad died of a sudden stroke
Lenore doesn't know if he was saved.
Lenore's blood sugar is all shot
It makes her feel faint to fast any meals
Her car almost crashed before she could stop
When she blacked out at the wheel.
Lenore must not let much time go by
Without a snack to keep her levels up
I know it’s a pity she’s such a big size
But giving up driving was even more tough.
Bea's comeback could not have been colder
Lenore could ask the Lord to heal her
I'm sorry Lenore lost her sister
But fasting's a burden we all must shoulder!
This week we're doing our special fast
To make us meek and the devil weak
Not many saints through the battle last
We fast as we fight, others feast and retreat.
I still feel just fine, let's dicuss the deacon
I'll share a request with you
Pray for the deacon, his faith has weakened
His wife's acting worldly too.
Her jewelry's too bright, she got high on wine
Old Joe smokes stogies again
So many sick saints with a reprobate mind
Ben's livin' in unspoken sin.
I phoned Lenore her soul to exhort
She's making too many excuses
Regretfully to the Lord I'll report
That to fast she steadfastly refuses!
Something's the matter with that fat pastor
He's big as a whale and this fast won't help
He'd sell his soul for a seafood platter
His lard will fuel the fires of hell.
I caught him with a bucket of chicken
He swore he'd picked it up for his kids
He always hangs around the church kitchen
Throughout this fast he's sneaked tidbits.
If it gets worse he’ll need a forklift
To help him make it to the pulpit
A diet book would make a fine gift
His birthday’s coming up, isn’t it?
That Twinkie junkie is worse than Lenore
He pops diet pills and vacuums food in
That pastor's not fit to serve the Lord
That man is a walking mountain of sin!
Fasting has made me sharp as a tack
I see sin more clearly and know what to pray
Pastor is under satan's attack
Pray that he'll turn from his wicked way!
Praise the Lord for this fruitful fast
My food I didn't miss at all
It brought satisfaction and that's a fact
As bountiful as any banqueting hall!
Three weeks went by and no Lenore
Why wasn't she sitting in her usual place?
Had Lenore really turned her back on the Lord
And left Bea's church to search for God's grace?
Mary called up Lenore one day
Only to hear she was going away
Toxic fumes of hypocrisy
Drove Lenore out permanently.
When Mary saw Bea she shook her head
Your fast sure was fun, but look what you've done
Praying to God from a heart long dead
As you feasted on others and not on the Son.
Daily you dined on pastor pie
You skipped your meals and licked at Lenore
Because you're blind you think you're just fine
I doubt we'll see Lenore any more.
She's gone now, Bea, thanks to your work
We're finally rid of Sister Lenore
She's taken her full figure out of church
She won't be coming back anymore.
One distant day Bea came to receive
Rewards for works done in her life
Surely my fasting, my tithes and good deeds
Will testify I fought a good fight.
Barely saved through the trial of fire
The smell of smoke to her garments clung
Bea watched a sister whose weight had been higher
Receive God's praise for a job well done.
Humble at last Bea thought of her fasts
Her thoughts weighed upon her mind
If only I'd valued the things that last
If only I'd been more kind!
I should have kept my big mouth shut
But I fed on the flesh of my sister
All my fasting feasts got burnt up
As her weight of glory got bigger.
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