Is life supposed to be like this? A daily struggle to fit in. A daily heart attack. Is life suppose to be so cruel? The answer is: Yes. I've never seen it any other way.
So what gives? What's up with all this struggling? Am I suppose to go through life with a bunch of worries on my back? Am I suppose to carry around pills to give me a brief bit of happiness? I wonder what life is actually suppose to be. I wonder if life in it's grand beginnings started out to be this way; when did life & sorrow join forces? And where is my super hero to carry me through the fire.
I often think back to when I was smaller and all the time I would spend wishing I was a Power Ranger. Now come on, who didn't? Those guys were the best! They selflessly ran into the frontlines of battle to save people they never knew, and I noticed how everyone loved them. No worries on their faces, everything was fine. I looked at them and then looked at myself and wondered sometimes, "where is my smile at?"
"Yes, yes I realize this is depressing but what's the point?" If life is just living & dying, then what's the point? Is the point living and gaining processions? Is the point to make a name for yourself so that you can be remembered as "so and so that did something and something"?
"How do you explain birth defects, coast-crashing hurricanes, AIDS, or the genocide of the Tutsi in the 1990s? If God cares, he isn't strong; if he is strong, he doesn't care. He can't be both.
But according to the Bible, he is exactly that. Furthermore, according to the Bible, the problem is not the strength of kindness of God. The problem is the agenda of the human race. We pursue the wrong priority. We want good health, a good income, a good night's rest, and a good retirement. Our priority is 'We'.
God's priority, however, is God."
-Come Thirsty by Max Lucado
It's God's will? It's for God's glory? My suffering? My heart ache? My hurts? My dad's passing? It's for God's glory? I think we need to notice the word I used the most just now. "My". Nothing I have is mine. Everything I have, the very air that I am sucking on right now doesn't belong to me. It's Gods! He made everything and even our pain. We find it easy to praise him when the sun is shining down and we've got money in our pockets, but what about when the clouds come? What about when the thunder rolls and the lighting hits? Who do we run to then? It might be Gods name I'm calling but now it's not fair.
I wake up with a bundle of worries almost everyday. I can't really help it; it comes in my genes probably. Worry this and worry that surround every thought that comes to the surface, but I'm learning that I need to stop thinking about "I". What I think I need may or may not be in God's will for my life. We may throw a fit and stomp our feet and pace back and forth holding our breath but in the end God knows what is best. We don't see the big picture, he is painting the masterpiece and we only see tiny bits of his marvelous plan for us.
Jesus never said this was going to be easy. We forget that a lot. We forget that Christ himself said that few will walk the path that he walked. It's hard and painful! And so was Christ's death for us! It wasn't just a walk in the park. " 'Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine.' Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him" (Luke 22:42-43).
Notice what happened at the end though! God did not for one second leave Jesus, he was by his side the whole time! And he will always be right by you when the waters raise and thunder cries out. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God" (Isa. 43-2-3 NASB)
"Nothing comes your way that has not first passed through the filter of love." - Come Thirsty by Max Lucado.
I don't claim to understand a whole lot about anything. I'm just as confused as you are when planes crash and healthy people fall over dead. I'm just as lost when the seas shallow up villages and twisters crash through cities, but, I'm reminded of Jesus in the garden. I'm reminded of his faith. Though it did hurt, he followed. I must learn to walk a little more like Jesus did. I must throw away myself and learn to carry my cross the way Jesus carried his cross.
A life without God is meaningless. We were created to worship our Lord and grow in love through a relationship with him. Yes, sometimes the painting seems to hold only random splashes of paint but in the end, through all the tears and broken thoughts, we will look and see His masterpiece.
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Kyle, I am reminded very much of a piece I once wrote about a painting and how much more vivid the other colors are on a background of cold black. What a masterpiece God created and is and has been creating in you!!! I know you already know this... but according to Him, you're not only wonderfully made, but made in His image! I have to remind my own self quite often so that bitterness can't take root that I am wonderfully made too. It's a mystery to me, but I know with all my heart that it's true. I'm anxious to see the end result!! (I do not prescribe to FW's messenger.)