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Taken from the book: A Bastard's Refuge: Rejected by Man but Adopted by God
I’d like to publicly thank the people who never believed in me as well as those who wanted nothing to do with me. I acknowledge and thank each person who never wanted to be bothered with me. To you who hardly looked my way, but even when you did, you looked straight through me as though I were nothing at all - to you I say thanks.
Honestly, I am indebted to you. I could have never made it this far without your input. Some of you made my life a living hell. I spent countless nights crying over the horrible things that you said and did to me. I’ve often pondered the many nice things that you could have said or done but instead, chose not to.
How can I ever forget those of you who would move away whenever I sat next to you? I shall always remember you (especially the choir members), who always insisted that I happened to be, “Sitting in your seat”, or “Standing in your spot.” No matter where I sat or stood, you would always show up to claim that space as your own. Never did you ever fail to remind me that I just happen to be in “YOUR SPOT.” Some of you made me so agitated by your nasty wicked spirits, that I probably would have moved anyway. For whatever part you played – to you I say thanks.
Perhaps yours was a supporting role. You know, like maybe you only listened to other peoples’ negative talk, and then you automatically decided to hate me. Never mind that you and I had never clashed with one another. You didn’t even know if what you heard about me was true or not, but still your mind was made up. How pathetically immature is that? God help you!
Like a cashier ringing up miscellaneous merchandise, you looked only for my outer markings. This you did for the mere purpose of scanning me, so that you could willfully toss me aside, as though I were some sort of unidentifiable object, instead of a human being with real feelings.
Some of you knew absolutely nothing about me, but yet you hated me without a cause. Perhaps you carried out the dirty work of another simply because you lacked the backbone to stand up in my defense.
Never mind defending me, you didn’t even have the guts to think for yourself, so instead you blindly went along with the opinion of the crowd. Whether you wrongfully accused me, talked about me, just didn’t like me, went along with the others or suddenly stopped speaking to me, for reasons that make absolutely no sense at all, even to you - I say thanks.
I would like to acknowledge and thank all of the people at work who never saw me as being worthy of promotion - ever. You did your best to keep me back, and guess what? It worked! No matter how hard I tried to advance, you were always there to make sure that I never got selected. Your constant ignoring and overlooking, gave me the fortitude to strive even harder. The hot salty tears that rolled down my face, each time you denied me the opportunity to advance, were just the motivation that I needed to do something for myself. Most especially to you - I say thanks.
I suppose you feel I am being cynical. On the contrary, really, I’m not. It was however extremely important to me, that I let you know just how significant your contributions have been. Because you rejected me, I found myself in God’s company. I re-discovered, “What a friend I have in Jesus.”
At one time, not only did I want, but also, I thought that I just had to have your friendships, your jobs, your ministry, your admiration, your love, your blessing and your acceptance in order to survive. I really thought that I needed you, to feel good about myself.
Thanks to you, I have discovered something much better. My Father already accepts me just as I am. He has always been there for me. He has always accepted me, and He has always loved me. It was I who could not see Him clearly because I was too busy looking for you. I have refocused my gaze to where it should have been in the first place.
I have only you to thank for snubbing me and for rejecting me, so very much that I finally got a clue. Now I ask you, why on earth, would I have a reason to still be mad at you? Once again - even to you I say thanks.
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I need to leave a comment here regarding this article. This is an excerpt from Jonita's own book. As an excerpt, it is just a small portion of her overall autobiography.
With an article that expresses pain regarding the way the author has been treated in the past, and the rejection she has felt, I think it's very important that we don't add to that pain of rejection.
Jonita, I would consider it a privilege to read your book.
With love, Deb Porter (Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine and Challenge Coordinator)