God, I'm holding back. Holding back everything you have given me. I'm short and not able to reach the apples on the trees. I'm so tired of laying face down in the mud waiting to picked up by rubbish and thrown back down by reality. Say that you want me. Say that you love. Say that you need me. Say anything other than what I'm so used to hearing. Say something that I don't understand, say something out of context. Say anything and let it drop into my heart with a splash.
I'll let go tomorrow… I've said that so many times while I slumber. So many times sitting back on my couch pretending the air won't stop today, so I have time.
I need to let go. I need to drink from the water you give. I need to feel important. I need to feel wanted. I need to feel more than human, more than a grave soon to be. I need to feel loved.
Plucking away at my strings and striking my bed post has made me weary. I'm missing so much in your eyes. So many different snow flakes with unique designs fling themselves down to the earth to show your artistic talent, but I fix myself only the cold and wishing for a warmer day.
I need a drink. My soul cries out for a God of both power and kindness. My soul reaches out for something more than steak & eggs. God I need you.
How utterly soul-stirring!!... a prayer from the deep recesses of loneliness, a longing for acceptance and a touch from The Holy, Holy God. I wish I could say "I don't understand this prayer." But I do. I also know beyond a shadow of doubt that He understands it too and the answer was simply waiting on the prayer, already manifested in the heavenlies.
Oh, and by the way, those apples... I'm too short to reach them too. But their ours, you know? And all for the asking. Somehow I believe that He takes pleasure in handing the sweetest over to the ones of us who feel most insignificant and small... the least of us His Brethen. (and Sisters :::smile:::)