Iíve heard all my life, Lord, about the mission field. Iíve contributed to the Lottie Moon offerings. Iíve read about the far corners of the earth where great men and women have gone to proclaim Your name to those who might not have heard it before. Iíve seen slide presentations from visiting missionaries showing the wonderful work being done in the areas where they are serving. And in all of these I have been left with a romantic sense of wonder of it all. How glorious would it be to set off for a foreign land, meeting new people of cultures other than my own, and hopefully influencing as many of them as possible toward becoming disciples of Jesus!
And then I think about it some more. And the reality of it all sets in. Would I go, You ask?
But, Lord, there is so much to keep me here. So many ties to people, places and things that it would be so hard to leave all of them. What little security I have found in this world is here. The few comforts I know are here. Leave all this and go somewhere I have never been, surrounded by people that I do not know, and set about a work and a life filled with uncertainty? I just donít know if I could, Lord.
On the other hand, could I live with myself with the possibility running around in my mind that there might be even one person somewhere who will never hear of You, or never see You exhibited to them, or never hear the one word of encouragement or wisdom that means a difference in their life, and causes them to turn their hearts toward You because I wasnít there to share it with them? Knowing that I was the person who You had specifically chosen to show them these things? No, Lord. Not even if it were only one.
Would I want to stay here knowing that it was opposite to Your purpose for my life and against Your will? No. I know that there can be no blessing in doing my will rather than Your own, nor any peace.
But I know that if I say Yes, Lord, I will go, it cannot be with a contrite heart or uneasy mind. The steps must not be taken grudgingly. I also know that there can be no blessing in doing Your will feeling like my arm has been twisted.
So, Ok, Lord. Here I am. Standing in this uneasy place, but willing to give it all over to You. If there is somewhere else in another part of the world, another part of the country, or even in the next county where You feel that it is best for me to be, then thatís where I want to be. If the ministry that I have set about doing here is not what You would have me do, and there is another task somewhere that You have assigned me to, then thatís what I want to be doing, Lord.
I know that it will mean leaving the comfortable spot that I am on now. I know that there will be uncertainty, and that it will mean truly putting You in control of my life. I know that this decision will probably lead to more questions than answers.
But I know that I need You, Lord, more than I need any of those answers. And I need to be in the middle of Your will for my life more than I need to live the one that I have fashioned. And more than anything, I know that pleasing You is infinitely more important than pleasing myself.
Send me, Lord. Iíll go. Wherever You lead, Iíll go. And Iíll go with the perfect peace of knowing that You will take care of every detail. More than that, I know that You will take care of me as I take care of Your business.
I Love You, Lord.