I remember that rush of excitement I felt when I first accepted You as my Savior, Lord. I was elated. I wasn't just walking on cloud 9, I was sprinting and jumping from one cloud to another. I was ready to go out and tell every single person I met on the street about this precious gift I'd found. I was changed. My life was changed. The world had changed. I was riding on a rainbow toward a rewarding pot of gold I could see at the not too distant end.
But before long, I noticed that the ride had slowed down a little bit. The surface I was being carried along wasn't quite as smooth as it had been. In fact, it was getting bumpier by the minute, and I was having to dodge potholes every few feet.
Then the colors of the rainbow didn't appear to be quite as bright as they once were. Their hues suddenly weren't radiating the same uplifting brilliance that they had in the beginning of the ride. The fading was so discouraging! And it seemed like the more frustrated I became, the grayer the rainbow became. What was worse, it looked as if the farther I traveled, the farther that pot of gold got from me. That is, when I could even see it at all. The clouds had begun to swirl around me so thickly that I couldn't see where I was going at all half the time. What if that gold was just a mirage? A figment of my imagination? Never really there at all?
Oh, the ride hadn't been at all what I'd been expecting! I hadn't even been able to hear the conductor's voice for a while, and I was afraid that maybe I'd been abandoned. What if I went off track? Or what if the track just disappeared out from under me? Could I survive the fall? I felt queasy. I thought it might be best if I just got off for a while. And as You know, Lord, for a while I did.
But then, I missed the rainbow. I missed the ride. I missed the sight of that prize at the end, and Lord, I missed You. I realized that the rainbow hadn't left me, I'd jumped off. It had been my own perceptions, my own doubt and fears, my own insecurities that caused my ride to be more difficult than it had to be. It had been my own near-sightedness that caused the difference between what I saw and what was real. Oh, the potholes had been there sure enough, but if my faith had been just a little stronger, I'd have been able to cruise right by them without even taking a breath. The curves had been there, too, but if I'd have kept my eyes ahead of me instead of on the track, they wouldn't have unsettled me in the least.
Lord, thank You for allowing me back on the ride. The summits are exhilarating. And now when the decline comes, I sit back, fasten my seat belt, and keep focused on the assurance that the ride will level out once again soon enough just as it always does. If I really get scared of what's to come, I know You're sitting right there beside me, close enough to hold my hand.
And You know, I believe I can see that pot of gold clearer than I ever could before, Lord.
I Love You, Lord.
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