Why is it, Lord, that there is so long to wait to see You? So much time must pass before we get to see for ourselves the glory and splendor of heaven? So very much to endure before we can shed these earthly bodies, trials and tribulations?
Even though the details are sketchy, there are just enough of them to make us want more. To make us eagerly long to see it all. I have read Johnís accounts of what he was able to see, and it makes me wish that I could even see that much. Just the things John talks about.
Have You really designed and built such a spectacular place just for us humans to live with You? It can hardly be believed; we are hardly worthy of anything near as grand as what weíve been told that it is like. What does the old song say? I scarce can take it in. Itís overwhelming to think about living in such a place. And itís hard to be content here knowing that such a place awaits us. Knowing that the very least thing in heaven will be worth more than anything that we have ever seen, touched or experienced here on earth.
And Lord, there are these earthly troubles that cause so much pain. They seem to be never ending. Itís always one right after the other. Sometimes I feel like I might just break under the weight. And it seems as though no sooner than one weight is lifted, another is added to the load. The cycle gets so tiring. I yearn to be free of all these encumbrances, conflicts, and these torturous troubles that befall me at every step.
Then, Lord, thereís You. I suppose that the idea sets my heart aflutter the most is thinking about that moment to come when I finally get to see Your face. I get to see the eyes that were on me all the days of my life. The hands scarred by the nails that men drove into them on my account and that held mine through so many dark days. That wiped so very many tears from my eyes. The arms that have been strong enough to carry me innumerable times, and yet gentle enough to have been wrapped around me, comforting me so often.
One request, Lord. If I may, I want so much to just place my hand on Your chest, and feel Your heart beating. The heart that I know I have caused pain too often through the years. The heart that loved someone like me, regardless of what I did or what I didnít do. The heart that always held a place just for me within its walls, even during those times when I had pushed You away from mine. Just to feel the beating that I know once stopped, because I know that it would have stopped even if I had been the only one You had to die for that day, and that it now beats again so that I could be with You at that very moment. To see Your smile directed at me so that I will know, without even a word being spoken, at long last what I have so needed to be assured of. That everything is alright now. That I am home. That is what Iím longing for.
Thank You, Lord, for this waiting. Even though it makes me so anxious sometimes, I thank You for the promise of something to wait for. I thank You in advance for all that is to come. This anticipation is sweet, and that sweetness outweighs the bitter altogether!
I Love You, Lord.