(Two characters enter from stage right. Jeff, in his twenties, is dressed well but looks uncomfortable. His Mind is dressed simply in dark clothing.)
Jeff: I don’t think this outfit is really my style.
Mind: It looks good on you. Don’t worry.
Jeff: I guess I’m just a little nervous. It’s only my second time going to Impact Church and I want to make a good impression.
Mind: Just remember what I taught you: Don’t come off as too friendly. Don’t go to people first—let them come to you. And, whatever you do, don’t under any circumstances give them personal information.
Jeff: Why not? The people here are different from the other churches I’ve been to. They treat me like I’m family. I feel like I can be myself here.
Mind: Bad idea. On the outside these religious people seem friendly, but on the inside they can’t wait to get the dirt on you so they can throw it in your face. Just do what I say and you’ll be fine.
Jeff: Okay, if you say so.
Mind: Let’s go.
(They both enter the church from stage right. A Greeter meets them from stage left.)
Greeter: Good morning! You came here last week, right?
Jeff: Yes, I did.
Greeter: Welcome back! It’s good to see you again… (Greeter goes to give Jeff a hug.)
Mind: FREEZE! (Greeter freezes. Jeff looks at Mind.)
Jeff: What’s wrong?
Mind: She’s trying to give you a hug.
Jeff: Yeah?
Mind: Remember rule number one? Don’t appear too friendly. Give her that ‘church hug’ I showed you. (Jeff is reluctant) Go on.
(Greeter unfreezes. Jeff gives her the religious light patted hug.)
Greeter: Come on in.
Jeff: Thanks.
(Greeter exits stage right. A Nursery Worker stage left sees Jeff and approaches him.)
Worker: Hi Jeff! How are you doing?
Jeff: I’m good. How are you?
Worker: I’m doing great. I remember you from last week. You asked me about helping out with the children’s ministry, didn’t you?
Jeff: Absolutely! I’m very interested.
Worker: Great! That’s awesome! I don’t have a need for help with the children this week, but we are in need of several nursery workers. So I was wondering…
Mind: FREEEEEZE! (Worker freezes. Jeff looks back at Mind.)
Jeff: What’s wrong now?
Mind: Don’t you see what she’s doing? (Jeff shrugs.) She’s recruiting you.
Jeff: She’s what?
Mind: If you work in the nursery once, you’ll be working there all the time. She’s totally taking advantage of you.
Jeff: I told her I wanted to do it.
Mind: Trust me—don’t do it. Hey Jeff, have I ever led you wrong? (Worker unfreezes.)
Worker: Are you available to work in the nursery this Wednesday night?
Jeff: Uh, I’m sorry but I’m unavailable that night.
Worker: Okay. Well, I’ll definitely keep you posted with the children’s ministry, all right?
Jeff: Thanks. (Worker exits stage left.)
Mind: You did the right thing.
Jeff: Then why do I feel like I lied?
Mind: You didn’t lie, you…
Jeff: I lied. And for something I was completely willing to do.
Mind: Hey, you were the one who wanted to make an impression. If it weren’t for me the people here wouldn’t give you the time of day, much less recruit you for nursery work. Ugh!
Jeff: Look, maybe you should just ease back. It’s not like I’ve had a lot of success in the past by listening to you.
Mind: More success than you would have had without me…
Jeff: Hey, just back off!
(A male Impact member enters stage left and approaches Jeff.)
Impact member: Jeff! Hey, man! How’s it going?
Jeff: Hey!
Impact member: You came back, that’s awesome! (Impact member looks as if he’s going to hug and kiss Jeff on the cheek.)
Mind: FREEEEEEEEEZE!!!! (Impact member freezes. Jeff pauses before looking back at Mind. Mind stands there stupefied.) WHAT---ARE---YOU---DOING?!?!
Jeff: What?!?!
Mind: Don’t you see?! He’s going to hug you and then he’s going to…to…kiss you?!?
Jeff: On the cheek.
Mind: I don’t care where he’s going to kiss you! He is a man. You don’t kiss another man! Everyone will think you’re…you know…peculiar. And not in your normal way.
Jeff: Look, this is my co-worker and my friend. He’s the one that told me about Impact church. He’s closer to me than my own brother. I think in this situation…(Mind is shaking his head.) What?
Mind: You don’t care what anyone thinks about you, do you? No matter what I tell you to do you manage to screw it up. You come to me, your mind, to help you in these situations at church, at work, at home. And you still manage to mess them up! You are a failure! It’s a wonder you haven’t lost me yet.
Jeff: You know what? You’re right. Maybe I should lose you. (He grabs his Mind by the collar and forces him stage right.)
Mind: Hey, what are you doing?
Jeff: What I should have done a long time ago. Leave you out of it!
Mind: You can’t do this to me! You can’t live without me!
Jeff: I can’t live with you the way you are now! I’m going to stay here at Impact, I’m going to help where I can because I enjoy it, I’m going to grow here and I’m going to follow God—and you’re going to follow me for a change!
(Mind stands flabbergasted. Jeff goes back to the Impact member, who unfreezes. Jeff hugs and kisses him.)
Jeff: It’s great to be back. You know what? I think I really like it here. It feels like home.
Impact member: It’s a good home to come to. (Pause) By the way, what’s up with your clothes?
Jeff: I have no idea…
(Jeff and Impact member exit stage left. Black.)
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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Top marks Dallas! This was so good!! I could see it being played out in my, er, "mind" (my well behaved mind that is) as I read it. It would really make a great point. Well done! with love, Deb
