Lord, it seems I've been forgetting more and more these days. Maybe it's just a factor of getting older, though the pride that still dwells within me might argue with that.
Or maybe, it's just Your way of reminding me that sometimes being a little forgetful is alright. After all, You are even more forgetful than I am! I know, I know. I guess most people would think that I was more than a little bit crazy making a statement such as that, but really Lord, isn't it true? I mean, look at all the things that You have forgotten...
You've forgotten every harsh, angry, terrible word that I've ever spoken. You've forgotten every time that I've held back from speaking even though I knew that You were leading me to speak. You've forgotten everything that I've done that I shouldn't have, and everything that I should have done but didn't. Every time I've failed You, and every time that I've failed myself, my family, my church, my friends. Even when they haven't forgotten about it. Even when I can't, no matter how hard I try, forget about it. You've easily forgotten more than my simple mind will ever be able to remember.
Of course, You've not forgotten all these things for me because Your mind is failing, as mine may very well be. You've forgotten all these things because I asked You to. To forgive and forget; more fully than any human with even the best of intentions are able to do. Not only for me, but for every single one of us who are called by Your name. Psalms 103:12 says that "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us." It's amazing to know that it's all just vanished. Disappeared. Never to be held against us anymore.
But after all those things that I've asked You to forget about, it brings a smile to my face to know that You've not forgotten everything about me. You still remember the child You knew before the world ever saw. You remember the teenager who went astray and lost everything but her heart for You. You remember the tears I've cried over my past. You remember the smiles I give without thinking, the ear I've lent to someone who was hurting, the songs that I've sung without knowing that someone in the back row was touched by the words. You remember all the things that I forget when I'm beating up on myself for letting You down again. And I'm so glad that You do. I'm so glad that You can remember anything good about me when You've had to forget so much that was bad. And even though You remember all these things, none of them are really the most important thing I know that You'll remember. For You remember the 11-year old girl who knelt at an altar in a red polka-dot dress one Sunday night to call out Your name. And You remember hearing me. You remember that from that day since, through all the good and bad, You have called me Your child.
Lord, I can never relive the lost years, nor take my sins back. Thanks for being a God who doesn't expect me to. Thanks for loving us even when we're unlovable. Thanks for loving me with a love that I cannot even imagine the depths of.
And don't forget, Lord, I Love You.
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I like the analogy of you forgetting to that of God forgetting. Thank goodness he forgets the things he does and remembers the things he does. Thank you for writing.
