I have been a wife for over 41 years, and there are things that I look back on with regret. But one time I actually listened to God, and it changed my marriage. It even put me more in line with the wife in Proverbs 31; The Wife of Noble Character as she has been called.
In Ephesians 5:33 God is very clear about what a woman is to bring to the marriage: “However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Using this verse of scripture the Holy Spirit led me to understand that my role as a wife was to respect my husband. After a little self-examination I realized I had been disrespecting him at every turn.
The first thing to spring to mind was the frequent conversations with my girlfriends where we would chuckle about our husbands’ stupidity or tell each other their various faults.
Then, I had to admit I had been viewing my husband’s abilities as more of a threat than a subject of praise. Just to show that I wasn’t a fool, I would propose alternate plans even though I could see the wisdom of his ideas.
Other times I would wait until we were in public and then “teasingly” tell the group about what the “silly” guy was up to now.
I even caught myself putting him down in front of the children so that they could see that I was on top of things, and “dumb” Dad didn’t have a clue.
Wham. It suddenly hit me that when I spoke in disrespectful terms about my husband, not only did I think less of him, but others thought poorly of him as well. It was like him going around telling people that he didn’t love me much, so they would begin to see me as unlovable. How awful. Was that what I was doing?
I asked God to guard my speech regarding my husband. I needed to learn to say only good things about him; to show him respect.
The amazing thing was the more good things I said about him, the more I liked him. When I talked about his strengths my friends began to envy my good fortune at having such a wonderful mate. The children had always loved their dad, but now they admired him as well. And wonder of wonders, I felt my husband’s love for me increase before my very eyes.
So, if you want to see a big transformation in your marriage I challenge you to ask God to help you change the way you speak about your husband. Remind yourself of his strengths. Report the good things when you are in public. Build him up in front of his children, and I promise you, he will love you for it.
Once again God’s plan for marriage is the best plan. When you follow it people will say of you, like they said of The Wife of Noble Character: “She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31: 9b-12.NIV
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Katherine, thank you so much for this wonderful article. We husbands do need the support and uplifting of our wives. I must add, the same holds true for the attitudes we husbands must have for our wives. You are all precious. Thanks for sharing. Thomas