He is my All
by Janet Elson
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She woke up to the sound of a bell. No! she had just thought that she had heard a bell ringing. She fell asleep on her bed with a book in her hand. No one was there at home. She slept as she was studying. She was not feeling like getting up, she was scared to even open her eyes. She thought, 'Thank God I didn't die in my sleep, If i had died now, I would have definitely gone to hell today'. The fear of hell gripped the 13yr old in her sleep. When she was awake she never thought of it, but she was scared to sleep. Bad dreams would haunt her.
A few months back when the three kids were in bed, her mother asked 'How many of you are saved?', her sister Jane said 'I got saved!, I got saved!'. In her mind she thought, 'I don't want to get saved mom'. Mother then asked Jane 'What was it like Jane?'. 'Its all about peace and joy and love'. Janet slept thinking she isn't a fool to miss out all the fun at school.
But now the fear of hell started taking over her sleep and she was in constant fear, which brought her to her kneels. She slowly started asking 'Jesus, I think I need you now, I am scared to live without you'. Slowly Jesus took over her life. She left her bad friends at school. The things that she loved to do before became a 'OH, NO!!!' now. Her friends started commenting, 'Hei Janet, you look very happy now', she just replied 'Jesus is in me now and I love Him'. The word Jesus meant love, joy, peace and everything to her. She didn't want anyone one now, Jesus was enough for her.
Her father had died due to heart attack when she was just 6yrs old. Her mother was too busy in ministry and in raising money for the kids. Though her sister Jane and her little brother was always around her she often felt lonely. She longed to be loved. She blamed herself for all that was going on around her. She was not a good looking girl, she was fat, she was dark and to make all worse she wore glasses at a very young age. But her sister was beautiful and was loved by all. She had created a low impression about herself. She tried a lot so that others would notice her, but end up being ridiculed and feeling embarrassed.
But now her Jesus was there to love her. She loved talking to Jesus. She spoke everything to Him. He too loved (loves!) her and cared (cares!) for her. She started showing some interest in her life. She said 'I will study well and build a big house and adopt 35 kids and give them the best and give them everything that they could ever wish for'. She even drew a picture of the house for them.
She didn't judge or condemn her friends, she just avoided being with them when they spoke nonsense (but that meant a lot to her before). The verse Psalm 1:1 (Blessed is the person who does not follow the advice of wicked people, take the path of sinners, or join the company of mockers. ) meant a lot to her in her youth. Friends mocked her and called her 'Holy Janet'. But she knew in heart that Jesus is alive and is watching over her. She didn't like to watch movie anymore, she felt it is waste of time while she can read more of Bible or just bask in the presence of her Lord.
Youth was a challenge to her too. But as she joined the college, she prayed 'Lord do not lead me into temptation, help me to overcome all temptations in your Name'. Yes God was with her in every situation, keeping her away from sinning. Her college camps taught her 'Even the second sight is a sin'. She started gaining her self confidence in college and her inferior complex slowly vanished. She ignored the people who always put her down. Jesus had loved her, the Creator of this whole universe has called her to be His, then why should she ever worry about the petty things of this world? If loneliness would come, she would find a calm place and cry out to her Loving Jesus, and her would wipe her tears.
This Jesus could be yours. If you could invite Him to come and take control of your life. He is a very caring and a gentle God.
Oh, how much I love Him! A God who came down to me and kept me close to His bosom! A God I could feel is always right next to me!! (I was not able to go against Him) A God who makes you feel His presence by a gentle cool breeze! He IS my EVERYTHING. He IS my ALL. He is more than LIFE to me. He could change your life too. Accept Him now and you can also say what I say today.
Love you Lord, JESUS. All Glory be Yours!!!
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