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A Hole Filled with Loss
by Teri Van Pelt
01/16/07
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I had a hole that was filled with loss.
Each item had been taken at a cost.

Whether, the cost was great or small,
I could feel the pain of having lost it all.

Each item was taken one at a time.
A vast hole in my heart was left behind.

The hole was filled with a desperate lonely pain.
It needed to be filled again.

So, I began to seek and find.
I found so many other things to put inside.

For the loss of belonging, I became wild.
I had loss the innocence I had as a child.

I did drugs, booze, sex to relieve the pain.
I denied that I felt ashamed.

With all this, I lost even more.
Self- hatred was at the very core.

As time went on the hole became so deep.
I crawled in and began to weep.

But, then I saw a hand reach to lift me up.
I know now, it was Jesus.

After He placed me by His side
He went into the hole deep inside.

He took out each item that had been lost.
He took it over and nailed it to a cross.

Then after each one was hanging there,
He looked up, His eyes filled with tears.

Father, He prayed you know what’s been done.
This child is such a lonely one.
I know Father; it is your will,
This hole now will be filled.

With that He placed Himself on the cross.
His blood poured in and covered each loss.

You could hear Him cry a deep groan and then a soft weep.
Then it was as if He just went to sleep.

I felt bad at first for what He gave,
Just, so that my soul could be saved.

As I stood there feeling lost,
I realized He was no longer on the Cross.

Then I turned to find the deep hole that had been there.
It was gone; I couldn't find it anywhere.

A beautiful garden had been put in that place.
Roses lined a stone walkway with a glorious grace.

As I walked the path, up a hill,
I heard a voice soft and still.

I am with you child, your losses are gone.
You will never ever again be alone.

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