Note: This is written for all the "black" sheeps of the family, for myself and for Him.
The cross is before me,
you will think that
I will take the same road
as what He has chosen to go through
2000 years ago.
Everyday in my life,
I had dreamt
of being able to be like Him,
to take the same road
He had chosen 2000 years ago.
But the day when the test came,
in the midst of a crowd,
I chose to take a path
I hated myself for taking...
In cowardice, I bowed
to the tests of the trials,
and for the sake of comfort and security,
I chose to turn my back
on Him and the cross.
I travelled through the desert,
I struggled through the wilderness,
I crawled for a living,
ashamed of myself.
I could not lift my head high,
I could not forgive myself,
I could not bring myself to tell people,
I am His Daughter.
He is a noble King,
He is holy and righteous.
He is humble and brave,
I do not want His name to be
insulted by my badness.
But He came searching for me,
while I was in the desert,
He would not leave me in the wilderness alone,
His hand held my trembling hand,
in a place of wolves and tigers
and there, He reminded me, again and again,
He is my Father.
He showed me His hands
and feets once pierced by the nails,
and reminded me of what He died on the cross for.
Fame and honor were important to Him,
but He gave them all up on the cross,
insulted, sneered and mocked by all,
for that even more important so-called
"black" sheep of His family.
To my brothers and sisters in Christ: When trials and testings came, sometimes, we may not turn up to be the people we had once hoped we were. Instead of being His faithful servants and obedient sons and daughters, we became like cowards and worldly people, who bowed to the pressures of the world. This is written to encourage all of you, my obedient brothers and sisters in Christ who had tried your best to please Him, but found to your dismay, that you were still very selfish and worldly deep inside you, to remember not to turn away from Him in shame for your repeated defeats, again and again, but to remember He loves you and to hold on tightly to His hands, trusting in His love and forgiveness for you and even more, remembering that for Him, you, His precious child, is more important to Him than all the fames and glories you can ever bring to Him. He died on the cross for you. He is not afraid of being shamed, being mocked, being treated like a dirt because to Him, you, His precious child, is so much more important.
Do not commit the sins of Judas. Jusdas' greatest sin is not his betrayal of Jesus. No, his greatest sin is that despite being with his master for three whole years, he had still failed to understand and know what kind of person his master really is. That his master is not cold and unforgiving and hard, but merciful. Judas' greatest sin, really, is failing to ask Jesus for forgiveness for betraying him. The difference between Peter and Judas is not that they betrayed their master, but that one believed his master will forgive him and choose to ask for his master's forgiveness and the other did not believe the same thing. No sin can be too great for God to forgive except the sin that you do not believe that God love you more than His own life and will gladly forgive you if you only confess your sins to Him.
Do not let the devil lie to you that God will never forgive you for what you had done wrong. He will forgive you. Do you know He will forgive even dictator like saddam if saddam would only believe in Jesus for his salvation? Jesus died on the cross for everyone, not just those who believed in Him, but for everyone in the world.
That include the most evil of the evil guy and that also, of course, includes you, the "black" sheep of God's family. :)
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