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New Year, Yea Right, Same Ole Same Ole
by James Snyder
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The crystal ball successfully dropped in New York City on New Year’s Eve, bringing in 2007. Everybody now can rest that the New Year has officially begun.

The old year has slowly toddled off into oblivion. Nobody is quite sure what the old year does in retirement. Whatever it does, I hope it will be happy. The New Year is supposed to be happy, but I would not be a bit surprised if the old year is happy to be retired.

For many years, I had the assumption that the New Year began fresh and everything was absolutely new. “Forget the old, ring in the new,” has been my motto for many years. However, I have discovered a flaw in this folklore philosophy.

It all happened quite by accident, I assure you. The New Year is barely one week old and I discovered nothing is actually new about the New Year. If we want to be technical about this whole business, I think instead of calling it the New Year we might want to call it the Next Year or Another Year.

The word new carries with it an ominous misconception. Let me just say right here there is absolutely nothing new about the year 2007. I have the incontrovertible proof that the New Year is the same as the old year. For all practical purposes, and impractical as well, the alleged New Year is the same ole same ole.

For instance, I got up New Year’s Day and went into the bathroom to begin my day. I must say I was not prepared for the disappointment awaiting me in my very own bathroom. Why my bathroom has conspired against me, after all I do for it, is beyond my wildest imagination. Yet, there it was.

The first thing I did when entering my bathroom was look into the mirror, and boy was I shocked. When the shock faded to the point I could regain a sense of perspective I observed nothing new in that mirror. Oh, the hypocrisy of it all!

I expected, when looking into the mirror on New Year’s Day, I would see something new or at least something fresh. However, staring back at me in all of its oldness was the same old mug that stared back at me the day before. Perhaps, the mirror did not get the memo that New Year’s Day was exactly that, a new day.

Words cannot convey my disappointment as I looked at the “same ole same ole” in the mirror. I refuse to take the responsibility for this. On New Year’s Eve, I went to bed with the full understanding and expectation that when I awoke in the morning it would be a new day and a new year.

So, where’s the new me?

The evidence to the contrary was glaring back at me from my bathroom mirror. When somebody tells you mirrors don’t lie, don’t you believe it. I will not say that mirrors invented lying; they have perfected it into deceptive art.

About this time a refreshing thought came to mind. It could very well be that the mirror has lost track of what time it really was. After all, things like that can happen. Perhaps in time, my bathroom mirror will catch up with the new times.

Glancing away from the mirror I happened to espy the bathroom scale. Down through the years this resident of my bathroom and I have engaged in many a battle. Unfortunately, I have not been losing. The careful thought was that perhaps the bathroom scale was in tune with the new times. After all, the bathroom scale deals with numbers and is an expert at facts.

In the past, that is the old year, I have been quite hesitant about stepping on this apparatus. I am convinced its only purpose in life is to humiliate me. And, I might add, it has been quite successful.

But, this is a New Year. Everything old is new.

With these cheering thoughts, I glided toward the bathroom scale to address it with a very cheery “good morning.” All last year this contemptible contraption has insisted that I have weighed %?!$@! pounds. I, of course, have argued to the contrary. But this is a New Year. And all things old should be forgotten.

The New Year suggests starting out with a fresh, honest approach to life.

Even though the mirror greatly disappointed me, I was optimistic about the bathroom scale. So, with a great deal of confidence, I gingerly stepped onto the bathroom scale. Before looking down, I shot a glance toward the mirror and in a momentary lapse of good taste, my tongue automatically protruded from my mouth toward the mirror.

When I looked down at the scale, I was shocked to see that I weighed %?!$@! pounds, the exact amount I weighed the day before the New Year.

There is a conspiracy between my mirror and my bathroom scale, which I thought had passed away with the old year. I now know that the New Year is simply the old year all over again.

Fortunately, God is above my mirror and bathroom scale. I like what the Bible says: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV.)

The New Year may be the old year revisited but thank God, God’s “new” is just that – new.

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