James 3:6 says; And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is a world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body…Whew, those are some strong words…but, wait, that’s not all. Proverbs 18:21 tells us; Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it for death or life. It is scary to think that my mouth has that much power.
I know that in my own life…I do not always choose my words wisely. I get angry and say stupid things. Do you?
Proverbs 29:11 says; A self confident fool utters all of his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it. The original Hebrew word for “utters” is ruwach (roo’vakh). It means; a violent exhalation, anger, unsubstantiability, blast, and whirlwind.
That means, when we lose our temper and spew out our anger…it’s like what a hurricane does when it hits land. It destroys everything in its path. I don’t know about you, but I can have some pretty nasty storms come out of my mouth at times.
Ephesians 4:26 says; When angry do not sin; do not let your wrath last until the sun goes down.
This tells me that it’s OK to get angry…it’s normal. We don’t have to walk around holding everything in. We do however, have to express our anger without yelling, cursing, violence, name calling, etc. That is where the anger becomes sin. How do we accomplish getting angry without a violent out burst or verbal whirlwind?
Let's look at a few of practical examples of a woman's wrath….how it begins...and how to counteract it.
Your child spills a drink for the twentieth time, on the carpet that you just cleaned from the last spill. Grrrr. You explode. You begin a full verbal attack with questions the child is unable to answer, and comments that will leave them in tears. This is selfish anger. It is about you. Who cares about a rug, tablecloth, or broken dish? Are they going with you when you go to Heaven?
In this example you need to stop…bite your tongue…and leave the room. Take a deep breath, and think; “OK, this is my baby. God gave me this child to love and care for. I must show grace…I love this child. I love my child. Thank you Lord, for this wonderful and precious child.”
I know what your thinking. “Yeah, right!” What you need to understand is that you must train yourself to do this…write it down, and keep it near by. Pull it out when you feel the anger building up inside. If you continue to do this over and over again, it will become your natural response…instead of an outburst of anger.
Your friend is chronically late. When plans are made you are already prepared for her to be late. However, there is this event that you really want to attend, and being late would mean a bad seat. So, you tell her that you need to be there on time. She can't be late. Well, she shows up 20 minutes late. You have spent ever one of the minutes seething. Grrr. When she shows up, you explode. You say things that should have never been said, she leaves, and you miss the event.
Of course, you have every right to be angry. Or, do you? Why did you wait for her? You should have gone without her and told her to meet you there. Or invited another friend who is on time. Another thing that is crucial in a friendship like this is communication. It may not be easy, but you must tell this person how you feel...even if they cannot handle it. Be clear. Make sure that they know you will not be going places with them if they cannot make better efforts at being on time.
Your man comes home from work and flops down in front of the television. He puts on some program that he enjoys (or in my case plays Nintendo). Grrrr. You begin to think: “Doesn’t he care about how I feel?” “I think he loves that stupid video game more than me!” Then the inevitable happens...you blow up. Look out…here comes a category 5 hurricane!
As you can plainly see in this example, you have thought your way right into a melt down. Does any of this sound familiar? I’m sure you can think of some of your own examples.
In a situation like this, it would be a good time to start thinking about how thankful you are to have this man in your life, or how you love his smile, laugh, whatever. ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE!
Any time that we feel rage, for any reason, we need to think about what we’re thinking about. Colossians 3:13 says; Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference, a grievance, or a complaint against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has freely forgiven you, so you must also forgive.
“But, I can't do all this!” you say. Yes, you can! You are a strong woman...even if you can't see it...speak it. Retrain your mind to think positive, and eventually it will come naturally.
Our minds are the root of most of our fears, low self esteem, some forms of depression, doubt…it all starts in our minds…then we speak it into existence.
Renew your mind!
When you fail, don’t beat yourself up. Pick yourself up, and press on!
God Bless You!
Here are some Scriptural references to help you study this topic further: II Chronicles 7:14; Psalm 103; Psalm 139; Proverbs 3:5-6; Proverbs 14:1; Proverbs 15:4; Proverbs 16:24; Proverbs 31:26; Isaiah 54:17; Mark 11:24; Romans 8:31-39; Philippians 4:13
I hope that these Scriptures are helpful to you in the battle of your mind and mouth. As you study the Word for yourself…you will find more. Write them down. Keep them with you. Memorize them. I know that you and I can overcome this battle!
Note: All Scripture references were from the Amplified Translation
About the Author: Lara Velez is a homeschooling Mom of two and wife to her soul mate, Rob. She is a published writer, web publisher, and entrepreneur. She owns; The Complete Woman Magazine, http://thecompletewomanmagazine.com a place for women to come and learn how they can become a complete woman from the inside out.
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