I have started to read the bible on a regular daily basis. During one of my morning vespers, I had vision of seeing my back yard filled with beautiful flowers, green grass and not a weed in sight. In fact, the weeds would be scare to come into my yard.
During church last Sunday, our pastor talked on the parable of the sower. We all know the story; He threw his seed wherever he may. Some landed on good ground, some landed on the rocks, and still some landed on the walk path. When it comes to the gospel, I am a sower by trade. The seeds that I sow are the words that I write, with my writing; I am able to reach people who chances are I will probably never meet. face to face. However, with words, I can sow to the reader’s heart. For it is there that ideas form to take action. I throw out encouragement, defense of the faith, how to apply His word through everyday life. With all that said, below is what I have been experiencing over the pass few weeks and how His word has been working on me. It all came together last night.
Judy and I have started to listen to a series of tapes that my brother-in-law sent to us. On the first tape, the preacher on the tape was talking about weeds and how not just mowing them over is getting rid of them you must pull them out by the roots and re-seed the soil and nourish the soil. Here I was who had a vision of my colorful backyard thinking this was literal interruption. Nevertheless, this goes deeper. Because putting everything together I have learned, that my backyard is an outward expression of inner thoughts. This frightens me because I cannot help but think of the sound wav I have from one of the “Batman” movies. Joker to Batman - “I seen your mind - FREAK!” I can only imagine that this what my Father thinks of me.
How did these thought occur? Through laziness, indifference, hatred toward myself. But mostly though from letting my first love grow cold. Thinking that one little thought would not hurt. After all, I am free to do whatever I want. I was wrong. Because one thought, leads to another and them to another and before I knew it, my whole life is nothing but weeds and I have no colorful flowers in my life to give back to my Father who is Blessed forever!
If my backyard is any sign of how my Father sees my thoughts and deeds then I am far from where I need to be with Him. But, He is gracious and merciful. Because where I am now, He still meets me here. May your mercy and grace never leave me, O Holy One, Lord of my Life, Loving Papa.
Something else was mentioned last night also that sent me running for cover. The preacher mentioned that God likes to go barefootin’ across the hearts of men [people], the other day I was standing barefoot on a patch of grass over by the only rose bush we have. My feet were telling me that I was standing on thorns. I was quite uncomfortable standing there. However, I tolerated it. Nonetheless, if I did not like having my feet pricked, how much more does God not like His feet pricked? I want my Father to run barefoot across my heart not to get His feet cut up on my thrones, so last night the weeding of my heart started.
Lately, I have started to feel resentment towards Judy and our son. I have been doing most of the housework and cooking over the pass few months and along with being the main breadwinner in my household resentment was starting to take a foothold. During the listening of the tape, the Lord was talking to me about what resentment turns into: Resentment turns to hate, hate turns to indifference, indifference leads to death.
I have always been faithful to my wife. In addition, I had not entertained any thoughts of being unfaithful to her because that would kill me and destroy her. Only now, the “what if’s” have started to creep up in my thoughts process. I have thought that Judy was rebuffing my advances toward her because of some stuff I had let into my life earlier. This was not the case however. I have now renounced the thoughts of unfaithfulness every time they come by for a visit. Nonetheless, this weed had to be dealt with. A gentle urge from the Father to tell Judy what was going on in my heart lead to a night of tears of love and repentance of life. The depression that I have felt over the last days is gone and God’s smile is upon me
There’s still a lot of weeds to deal with, but the garden the Lord is getting ready to plant will be a beautiful one for all to see. Believe in Him who comes from the Father.
I gave this a 5 because of the content. There are a couple of mechanical things wrong but I won't rate it lower for that though I suppose that is what we are supposed to do. This article touched me. I agree with it completely and can relate in an uncomfortably close manner. Thank you. This is a wakeup call we all need!