'When Men Look At Us, It Warms Our Body'
by Daniel Owino Ogweno
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique
Someone said, “Women wearing Wonder Bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about being stared at”.
I once saw a lady in a food-store dressed in a way that I wondered what was going on in her head. I have to admit, what I saw was good—very good indeed. Nevertheless, if I knew what I was going to see, I wouldn’t have looked that direction. You never know what you’d see until you see it. I was not looking for a lady to look at, but sometimes one "accidentally" sees what one was not looking for. She was beautiful—that was natural, no problem. But the kind of costume she had, wasn’t it meant to “kill”? It is not appropriate to graphically describe what I saw but suffice it to say that the kind of costume she put on was only appropriate in a bedroom, or probably at the beach. She, however, braved her way into a food-store. Why did she do it?
If it was good—and good indeed—why am I saying that I wouldn’t have looked if I knew what I was going to see? Since I came to know Christ, I have learnt that things are not judged by the impulsive sensual attractions that meet the eye.
We live at a time when the society is going overboard with ubiquitous sexual images and reminders. They freely float electronically and as printed matter, ranging from well-meaning advertisements to outright pornography. For men, we have to be extremely selective what we brood our eyes on. A very slight laxity on our selectivity and we are hypnotised, brooding our eyes on sexual images without realising that lust is beginning to rear its ugly head.
I don’t think the men Christ addressed when He sounded the alarm of committing adultery in the heart were exposed to sexually implicit images as we are today. We are more challenged to manage the sexual instinct in the wake of ubiquitous sexual enticements.
For ladies, it is true that men have to deal with and manage their sexual drives but it is important to point out that ladies may equally be “guilty” in the sum of the scenario of sexual lusts and leads. This is how this is justifiable:
If something is highly combustible and you do the “lighting”, the combustible thing will be accused for burning but the same will apply for the “lighter”.
If a man is going to burn, let him catch his own fire but do not light him and say: “He was still going to burn anyway!”
Christ said that if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he shall have committed adultery with her (Matt. 5:28). He never added—I wish He did: “If a woman, by her behaviour (dressings, postures, exposure, etc) makes a man sleep with her in his heart, she shall have also committed adultery”, but is it far-fetched to say that this is implicit, especially considering the sobriety and responsibility that is required of all of us?
A group of ladies who were going out for a party had dressed lightly—in mini skirts and low-cut blouses—defying the biting winter temperature. A young man who took notice of this “disobedience to the weather”, asked, “Aren’t you ladies feeling cold, dressing like this?” One of the ladies, apparently representing the general feminine mood answered, “Admit it! Didn’t you take “notice” of us?” Before the young man could answer she added, “When men look at us, it warms our body”.
There is no debate that there are some types of dressings that would make men stare at ladies “longer” than otherwise. And there are ladies who dress to make men stare at them “longer” than “normal”. The problem is that when a man looks at a woman “longer than normal”, it is hardly in the vacuum of sexual meditations and fantasies. You are probably asking: “How long is ‘longer than normal’?” We cannot compute this mathematically but when it is “long enough” to be “longer than normal” each party will know, otherwise, I’ll let you find out for yourself.
Ladies, ask yourself, “how many times have I “willingly asked” men to take me to bed in their heart?
Let us admit it, if it is difficult for men to tame their sexual drive, so it is for ladies to stop providing the leads and in the process “ask” men to lust after them.
Was this too hard? Believe me it is not written in a bad faith. We just need to find our orientation as Christians.
© 2006, Daniel Owino Ogweno
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"Three cheers" for you, Daniel, for boldly taking on such a sensitive subject, as this. Personally, I think it is well written.
Daniel, I do see where you are coming from with this one but I also agree with Don, in that it is a subtle form blame for mistakes as with Adam and Eve. I do however agree with you that Ladies do need to cover-up. It is not just on the streets we see it - its also in our churches. When our sisters dress in this fashion they are in effect allowing the devil to use them as instrument. However, Solomon did warn men about these ladies so I would advise that all men seek his advise. For the men in particular who are reading this - See Proverbs 5 & 7 For both men & ladies reading this - See Romans 12:1-2 Blessings Janice
Although well written; I cannot agree with the author, to do so would be the same as Adam saying; It wasn't me Lord, it was the woman....." Making someone else responsible for my sin is as old as Eden; we've just come up with new ways to subtly endorse an old lie. I think that this article would have been best written by a woman and allow the Spirit to use our sisters to speak to our sisters. If your premise be true, then why didn't Nathan talk to Bathsheba too?