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Mr Hopper's Choppers
by Donna Emery
12/14/06
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At the Woodcrest Nursing Home
They treat us pretty well
The nurses give us medicine
They answer every bell.

And in this Christmas season
They try to make things bright
They hold a great big party
With gifts, each Christmas night.

They put our names into a hat
And each nurse drew one out.
They pledged to buy us each a gift
And they will; there’s no doubt

And just so they will know for sure
What gifts we’d like to see
They took a sheet of paper
To post where all could see.

You’ll find my wish up on that list
Under the big old wreath.
My only Christmas wish would be
To get back my front teeth

My teeth were on my nightstand
A’soaking in their cup
I knocked them on the floor one day
And couldn’t pick them up

The dentist took them out to fix
She said they’d be back soon
But ever since they’re gone I must
Eat dinner with a spoon

I miss eating caramels
I miss corn on the cob
If I get mush for Christmas
The chef may rue his job.

So keep your Chanel Number 5
And stow your knitted scarf
And Mrs. Henson’s fruitcake
Would make a glutton barf

I just want to chew my food
It would be a relief
If I ate my Christmas dinner
With a brand new set of teeth!



If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Dee Yoder  17 Jul 2007
This is so funny! The title drew me right to it, offered a hint of what was to come, and you certainly carried through on the promise of humor.
Marty Wellington  18 Dec 2006
I loved it. Had me chucklin' out here on the prairie. Great images and boy can we all relate to that fruitcake. Super writing.
Jesus Puppy  18 Dec 2006
I have to agre... any one's fruit cake would make me.. well you get the Idea.. :D
Dennis Fletcher 16 Dec 2006
This was so good. I laughed like crazy, my coworkers now know I'm looney.
Don Beers 15 Dec 2006
Just priceless! Pray for me and pass the Poli-grip
dub W 15 Dec 2006
Absolutely rolling on the floor. I have to copy this one and give it to a 97 year old church friend; he'll get a kick out of it.
Sara Harricharan  15 Dec 2006
LOL! So funny to read, good job!
Catrina Bradley  15 Dec 2006
Too funny! Good job, Donna.
Shanti Singh 15 Dec 2006
LOL! This was very well done. Thanks for giving me a good chuckle this dreary December afternoon.




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