“HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE 4456! Keep your podcasts tuned to QWZR, where reality play is but a touch away! What’s zap today, Jeranda?”
“Today, Kasheon, we bring to you news of a nexciting find. It’s no secret that Realists have been working on a project out of ancient North America. It may help give a better understanding of a little known celebration from the early 2000’s, called ‘Christmas.’ Realogists have found something they call “a cassette,” from the now extinct state called, “Illinois,” an area of the midwest that now contains only valuable eon fuel farming. Sending it to the Sorbonne for regenerational stamping, they were able to recover what was on it. Here’s a portion of this, dating back to 2006 for you lucky listeners! Listen closely!
“All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth;
My two front teeth, my two front teeth.
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth;
So I can wish you Merry Christmas.”
“The reality stampers believe that this was a code, as these Christmas observers were being persecuted, beginning around that time. They state that “wanting my two front teeth,” was quite obviously tied to a line in the believers’ prayer, “Give us this day our daily bread,” both showing contentment with the bare minimum. They caution that they still aren’t certain where this group went, as there is no sign of them past 2032.”
“Gotta be code. Why would a kid lose teeth? Thanks, Jeranda, and, in that spirit, Merry Christmas!”