Do you ever just want to be mad at somebody and God wonít let you? He does that to me all the time. My husband has been sick with a bad cold and cough this week and he has been a real bear! Everything I do is not good enough or wrong. I have tried my best to make him comfortable and take care of him as best I can but heís just been a real grouch.
Well, he got really hateful last night and hurt my tender lilí heart. After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself, I got mad. I thought, itís not like you are the only person whose ever been sick, for heavenís sake! Of course I just said that to myself, not to him. I was still calm, cool and collected on the outside. But inside, a volcano was erupting!
He didnít apologize and didnít even speak to me for the remainder of the night or this morning either. I was upset. All morning long at my desk I stewed about it. The nerve of him talking to me like that after I had been his bedside saint all week! I needed to be mad! It felt goodÖ.for a season. There was spiritual warfare going on in my heart. For a little while, the devil was having his way. Then the Holy Spirit started nudging my conscience. God just wouldnít leave me alone about it. I wanted to be mad! I knew I didnít deserve those cruel words but you know what? God knew it too. All day He kept whispering in my ear;
I love you, Julia. You are My child. You have a purpose in this situation., to glorify Me. To rise above your hurt and show My likeness. Forgive him. What kind of witness will you be to him of My love if you cannot forgive?
OK, OK, OK, Lord. I love you too and I get the message. Iím sorry God. But Iím not apologizing to him! I didnít do anything wrong! I finally gave in, reluctantlyÖ.at the time, I must say.
Right before I got home this afternoon I prayed; God, what will You have me to do?
Just go in the door and give him a hug, thatís all.
So thatís what I did. And it worked! I feel so much better now!