Do you ever just want to be mad at somebody and God won’t let you? He does that to me all the time. My husband has been sick with a bad cold and cough this week and he has been a real bear! Everything I do is not good enough or wrong. I have tried my best to make him comfortable and take care of him as best I can but he’s just been a real grouch.
Well, he got really hateful last night and hurt my tender lil’ heart. After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself, I got mad. I thought, it’s not like you are the only person whose ever been sick, for heaven’s sake! Of course I just said that to myself, not to him. I was still calm, cool and collected on the outside. But inside, a volcano was erupting!
He didn’t apologize and didn’t even speak to me for the remainder of the night or this morning either. I was upset. All morning long at my desk I stewed about it. The nerve of him talking to me like that after I had been his bedside saint all week! I needed to be mad! It felt good….for a season. There was spiritual warfare going on in my heart. For a little while, the devil was having his way. Then the Holy Spirit started nudging my conscience. God just wouldn’t leave me alone about it. I wanted to be mad! I knew I didn’t deserve those cruel words but you know what? God knew it too. All day He kept whispering in my ear;
I love you, Julia. You are My child. You have a purpose in this situation., to glorify Me. To rise above your hurt and show My likeness. Forgive him. What kind of witness will you be to him of My love if you cannot forgive?
OK, OK, OK, Lord. I love you too and I get the message. I’m sorry God. But I’m not apologizing to him! I didn’t do anything wrong! I finally gave in, reluctantly….at the time, I must say.
Right before I got home this afternoon I prayed; God, what will You have me to do?
Just go in the door and give him a hug, that’s all.
So that’s what I did. And it worked! I feel so much better now!
God is so good…..
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I guess we all get mad at someone, sometime. I haven't gotten mad at my husband, but have at my sister, and am right now--my youngest sister. So your message of forgiveness is a good one. Thanks.
