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Mountaintop Expereince
by william price
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique


I sit clothed in chains and locks with no keys, alone on a barren, rocky mountaintop. Below I can see the smoke of wild fires rising to an endless blue sky. I’m too high up to feel the heat of the hungry blaze. I’m too far away to hear the cries of those running from the advancing flames. I’m too isolated to see the fear in their eyes. Yet, what I can’t feel, what I can’t hear and what I can’t see--haunts me.

I stand up to look for a higher peak to climb; something hidden in the clouds and someplace where I can be alone. Yet, with each beat of my heart--I feel. With each breath I take--I hear. Each time I close my eyes--I see.

“Kill me please,” I beg Death who stands before me. But, as he takes his saber and runs it through my heart; the wound is instantly healed.

“See, I cannot kill you.” Death sounds so sincere like he is my friend.

“What good are you if you cannot take my life?”

He turns and walks to a far side of the mountaintop and motions me to follow. I stand up and drag my chains over to the cliff’s edge. I hadn’t looked out from this side before. Below I see rolling green fields. I watch a blonde haired little girl running through the tall blades of grass until my tears blur my vision.

“I miss you, Heather,” I cry. But, she doesn’t seem to hear me. When my sight clears I look down again and see nothing but tops of clouds.

“I can give you all that you saw,” Death speaks. “There’s peace down there. No more pain, no more sorrow. You can leave your grief up here.”

He shows me a piece of paper with my name on it. I read it and weep. Then he tosses the paper up in the wind. I watch it float over the cliff, slowly being carried away until it disappears in the clouds below.

“It’s that easy,” Death says with a kind smile.

I close my eyes, but I see those running from the fire. I take a deep breath, and hear the cries of those in need. I feel my heartbeat, and I can sense the pain of those cowering in fear.

They need me. The One who won’t let death take me has my name written down. He won’t leave me or forsake me. Greater is God that is in me, than he that is in the world. I am confident that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Nothing can separate me from the love of God!

“Get behind me, Satan,” I scream at the top of my lungs. “I am a servant of the most high God.”

Suddenly I’m alone again. On my knees I cry out to God and He hears me. I am instantly comforted. The chains fall off my body and I feel the cool touch of fresh white linen. My body is strengthened. I stand up and walk over to the other side of the mountain and look down.

I hear a small quiet voice. “Tell them I am coming.”

With that the mountain begins to quake and shrink. Soon I am on level ground. I observe many others dressed in white linen. I notice my wife attending to an injured little girl.

“Glad you could make it back, honey. We sure missed you. Could you come here and hold this girl’s hand for me while I dress this wound?”

The girl has green eyes and blonde hair. Her hand is warm. She looks up at me and smiles.

“Thank you,” she says softly. “Are you a volunteer too?”

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Amanda Brogan 15 Apr 2010
Wow! What an amazing story! I love the allegory here. How often we get so engrossed in our own problems and heartache that we ignore other hurting people who need us. The triumphant ending is both beautiful and challenging.
Edy T Johnson  30 Nov 2006
This is such a creative writing, I'm sure it would have been a WC winner. Be sure to let us know when you pull together all your stories into a book. I want to order an autographed copy :)


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