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Not A Chance
by william price
11/30/06
Not For Sale
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There is no way I am going to baby sit this weekend! It’s not my fault she doesn’t have anybody else. I didn’t burn all her other bridges down. I’m tired of being the only one she can always “count on“. So what if she quits working because she can’t find someone to watch my grand girl. Why put that guilt trip on me? Not a chance.

If my brother-in-law thinks I’m going to drive him back and forth to work, he is crazy. I wasn’t the one who got caught driving drunk. He can ride a bike. I’m sure he has friends. I married his sister, not him. He’s not my responsibility. I’m tired of being the “glue” that tries to hold my in-laws fragmented world together. Who does he think I am? Not a chance.

Look, I like helping out a good cause as much as the next guy. But, this weekend is Florida State versus Florida. I’m sure somebody else knows how to work a grill. I’ll give them $50. I’m tired of being the “go to” guy. Why do they always ask me? Not a chance.

Children’s Church? A special night time service for the kids? Sure I’m good with puppets and can tell a funny story that makes a point, but there are 300 other people in the church. So what if I do it all the time. I’m tired of being a “pillar”. How much do they think one guy can do? Not a chance.

I don’t feel like calling people to distribute gifts to the needy this Christmas. That sounds like something anybody can do. I don’t care if I have a “way” with people. Somebody else needs to step up and learn the “way”. I’m tired of talking to people I don’t have to. I’m weary of sounding cheerful when I don’t feel like it. Do I have a sign on my back that says, “Ask me”? Not a chance.

Where’s my wife, you ask? I won’t even get started on her list.

Now get this, you’ll laugh. This week’s topic at Faithwriters is, VOLUNTEER. Right, like I have time to write something. I have to get up Saturday morning and drive my brother-in-law to work. After that I pick up my grand girl and go to the golf course so I can grill hamburgers and hotdogs while keeping her cute little hands out of the condiments. When I get home from that, I have to make about 50 phone calls before I drop my grand girl back off at her mother’s house and tell her how proud I am of her. Then I get to drive my brother-in-law home and hear how his day went at the feed mill. After that, I’ll be on my way to church so I can do a puppet skit and tell a bible story. And when I finally get home I‘ll ask my wife what‘s for supper and say, “Pizza sounds good“. Then we’ll look at the answering machine with 15 messages blinking and sigh. Finally, I’ll put the T.V. on to see who won the game and fall asleep before they tell me how bad the Seminoles got beat.

Right? Like I have time to write something about volunteering. Not a chance.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jacqueline Zerres 02 Dec 2006
Whew! I could identify. Isn't it all about drawing in your audience? Great last line.
Edy T Johnson  30 Nov 2006
HeeHee! You left me laughing, and that's very good. I should copy this for the "pillars" at our small church (no 300 to pick from; everybody has to take a job--and I think my 100% extrovert husband, like you, does way more than his share). I like your paragraphs listing all the jobs others want you to volunteer to take. Did you even think you could say "no!" (to one or more jobs) so you could at least have enjoyed the game?




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