That ‘Savior-thing’ – it’s not my thing. I already made up my mind. Years ago, in fact. Now I’m nearing the end of my life – and it’s a mess. Things didn’t ever seem to turn out like I thought they would. They just didn’t go the way I’d planned. I’m looking back over my life now, and I’m asking myself, “Why the hell has this happened to me? Why is everything so messed up?” I wish I could start over. Or maybe I don’t. Who’d want to go through all this all over again?
Those people who just left my doorstep – what do they really care? I never really had much use for Christians. I always felt like they thought they were better than other people, better than me. Hmmph. Well – maybe they are. But I usually tried to do what I thought was best. I always made my own way, thought I was being strong. The choices I made, I stuck with them. If somebody didn’t like it, well, that was their own problem. I guess I resisted any efforts to change me. After all, nobody’s perfect, right? Who are they to judge me?
If there is no God, and who’s to say there is, this is all just fine and dandy. It’s just the world as it is. Everybody doing what they think is right, doing their best to get by. If there is no God.
But – what if there is a God? It seems quite obvious, even to one like me, that we were created. I look around at the trees, the earth, the sky, the stars – all so beautiful. It seems to me the only thing spoiling it all is man. Is God offended when He looks down and sees all the hatred and violence and neglect and selfishness all over the earth, every day? Is God offended with me? Is it true, as some say, that at the end of my life I will have to stand before this God and give an account of my life – of my actions – the way I spent my time here on earth? If that is true, will He be at all interested in my excuses? I’m sure I have a pile of them. ‘I needed the money.’ ‘I was tired.’ ‘I was in a bad mood.’ ‘I was lonely.’ ‘I didn’t think it mattered.’ ‘They wouldn’t have liked me if I’d told the truth.’ ‘I didn’t have enough time.’ ‘They made me angry.’
What will God do if I try to offer excuses? Will He just blow them all away like the dried and dusty leaves of autumn? And what then? I will be standing before Him with no excuse, nothing to hide behind. He’ll see it all. My own sin, my blame, will cover me like a heavy, stinking, dirty, ragged blanket. None of it will be hidden from His sight. If there is a God.
Maybe I shouldn’t have sent those Christians away. I’ve never listened to them. Sometimes I’ve tried to be polite, but always I’ve said in one way or another, “Go away. I don’t have time for this.” And usually, after they’ve gone their way, I’ve scoffed at them. As though they were the stupid ones. My life’s the one that’s in a mess. They seem happy enough. Maybe I should have listened to them. What was that they were trying to tell me? That God loves me. That Jesus died for my sins. Hmm. What an amazing thing. Maybe that Savior thing is for me after all.
John 3:16NASB - For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
There are some people who feel this way, and it's up to those of us who have come into the knowledge of the Truth, that Jesus Christ is Lord, that he is the son of our Heavenly Father, and that his blood was shed for our sins, that the Holy Spirit was sent as a comforter, if we let our lives shine by enjoying the gift of life by choosing to love past our pain and embrace what God places before us we are all made richer, I enjoyed your article, it's scary to think there are oppinions out there like that, and there is the Truth. Thank you.