Hole in my pocket, faith in my heart
by Grace Namwandi
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Time and time again over the years, I had found myself in one too many financial slums out of which God has never failed to pull me.
I remember one time in particular. I was at a point where there seemed to be absolutely no way out.
I was a student far away from home, with no income, no hope and a broken spirit.
One night I felt that my financial needs had pushed me so hard to the wall that I broke down. I cried tears so bitter I thought they'd choke me.
The fridge was white from lack of food and I had a mountain of bills so high it could beat Mount Everest hands down.
Then came the fear of the mailbox. The mailboxes were positioned right opposite the lift, so I'd use the stairs instead. Days often went by without me reading my mail.
Just seeing the mailbox made me feel so depressed, it was better to avoid them. But of-course that was no solution. It didn't solve the problem that was inside.
Even when I didn't open it, I have a great imagination. I imagined over and over again how full it was. I even identified the letters that were inside. Even when I was not at home, I'll imagine the postman dropping letter after letter into the mailbox named "Namwandi".
So you see, I had to finally hold my breath and turn the small silver key that was just as threatening as the mailbox itself.
Only God kept me from going insane.
One day, I felt so financially empty. I had nothing to hold on to, but my faith.
When the darkness engulfed me and my spark of faith was threatening to fade, God stepped in, as he always does. he sent me an angel as he always does.
He touched someone to give me a ten Euro note. What change could a ten Euro note possibly make to my financial needs? I didn't know then, but God did.
Well, I held the note in my hand and sat down with God. We needed to talk.
"God, I don't know what you have in mind. What can I use this money for? Lord you know I need big money right now, I need a miracle but instead you sent me a ten Euro note, not enough for anything. I really don't know what to do with it, I don't even feel like using it because it's all I have.
Anyway, thank you Lord for the money. I don't know what to use it for so I'll give it back to you."
That's what I recall saying to God. As soon as I had uttered the words, I suddenly felt free of all the fears and anxiety that I had been carrying around with me. I looked at the money in my hand and saw it's real value in heavenly currency. I could finally see tha note through God's eyes, I saw it as a seed that needed to be planted in order to be brought to life.
I immediately wrote a letter to God in detail telling him what it is I needed, leaving nothing back. I then folded the letter nicely, placed it in an envelope and sealed it. I covered the whole face of the envelope with verses from the Bible that were keys to my financial doors.
The following Sunday, I did exactly what I had told God I would. I placed the only money I had, into God's hands. Needless to say, the page was turned. People I least expected anything from started blessing me in ways I will never forget. I was able to pay most of my bills and stock up my fridge and the greatest miracle of all, I got a job offer from nowhere.
To cut the long story short, God had simply stretched out his hand, pulled me out of the miry clay, fed me, put a smile on my face and peace in my heart.
He always knows when to step in , and when he enters the room, everything vibrates, even your finances.
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Beautifully written. It really 'pays' dividend to be obedient to God! When we sow sacrificially, heaven surely moves! God bless