A HOE'S REVENGE a real late Garden entry
by william price
Not For Sale
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Not For Sale
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I'm not proud of my past. I was made to do a lot of things I'm ashamed of. My master was unscrupulous and held no respect for the law or his hoe. He didn't care if it was raining in winter, or blazing hot in summer. I was always outside helping to make him rich.
My master was violent too. If he wasn't throwing me to the ground when he was through with me, the people he hired to use me would do the same. He was the type of master that didn't like to get his hands dirty. That's why he hired other “partners” to use me. He didn't want to go to jail; so if possible, he tried to keep himself distanced from the "business".
I had always wanted to be a respectable hoe. But, as the years went by and I began to lose my color and strength, I gave up hope of that ever happening.
If the truth were told, I would have been called a drug hoe. I am very embarrassed I played a part in that illegal enterprise. To my credit though, and God's help, I finally said enough was enough. I lost my head, literally, and my master threw me in a garbage can. He left me for dead. I was headed for the big furnace. But, I would rather be a burned up hoe, than used to grow marijuana in a criminal's garden.
I found out, God even loves hoes. While I was in the garbage can, contemplating my fate, two hands I've never felt before picked me up and took me to a car. I guess I had some marijuana leafs and seeds on me as well as my master’s fingerprints. I heard a man talk into a two-way radio. I think he was an undercover police officer. It seemed I made him happy. I was taken to the Sheriff's Department. I was being kept in protective custody until my master could be arrested and taken to trial. I was going to get a chance to testify against him. A hoe's revenge. I loved it.
In the days that followed I was joined by more potential witnesses, and I heard my master was finally in jail. Finally, I had my day in court. I'm proud to say I played a major role in sending him to prison for a long time. I discovered the State of Florida doesn't like hoes being used to manufacture marijuana. My master was also sentenced for trafficking in the illegal weed.
After the trial and my master was sent to prison, I began to wonder what would happen to me.
One day, I heard the man who found me say that he just got an order signed to burn the evidence. I started to get a little concerned. But, when he carried all of the confiscated marijuana, watering buckets and myself outside, he set me aside as he loaded all the other evidence into the back of a van. Then, to my surprise, he carried me to trunk of his car and put me inside.
It wasn't long before I was cleaned up and repaired. It was amazing what a little duct tape and a small nail could do. I was redeemed.
I am now a respectable hoe. God saved me from the depths of the drug industry and placed me in one of the best-kept gardens in the county.
I am not only used with care, but I get put up at night in a nice shed. I don't feel the sting of a heavy rain, or the biting winds of winter anymore. I am used now to grow beautiful flowers and vegetables.
Late at night, in the safety of my blessed garden shed, I pray for all of the other mistreated hoes in the world. I want them to know God loves them. If He can redeem me, He can redeem them as well.
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Woohoo! Brilliantly funny - my D and I loved it :) and God loves hoes too :D
William, this is an interesting, creative slant about redemption. The double entendre works here. Anyway, if I were to write about the other kind, I would have spelled it differently, so I could relax and read it without feeling like it was "seedy," excuse the pun!
Your double-entendre (sp?) is a little risky, but never fear: the young and innocent won't catch it, and the older and wiser will appreciate how very cleverly you have accomplished this story. I really love the message you have disguised, just below the surface in this "garden" theme. Add my dittos to the previous commenter, too.