I hurt a very dear friend of mine today by something I said in an insensitive manner. Something I should have said in private. It brought a ton of stress on this person and caused them to feel less than appreciated, which they are.
In doing this I hurt myself far greater than them. You see, when we cause undue and undeserved stress on someone, we demean ourselves. I can never take back the hurt I caused. All I can do is ask for forgiveness and see to it that I think before I speak and never…never…never let my emotions control my good sense.
I am writing this in an effort to pass on the lesson I just learned. I am truly sorrow for causing this dear friend even one second of anguish for my doings.
The Bible tells us to confess our sins one to another. I pray all who read this would ponder how they might better their Christian witness by controlling their own responses to people who they love and would place that person’s feelings above their own inclinations to speak before they think. We should do this even to our enemy.
Writing this is not an easy thing for me to do. Yet, I feel it is the proper thing to do. Most people who know me think I am a person above this kind of indiscretion. For the most part, I am. Yet, I fell to the works of the flesh in that I showed a cavalier attitude in expressing something I disliked. Operating in the works of the flesh is sin. I asked God and this person to forgive me. Now, I have to repent…turn from this kind of attitude and not return to it. I vow to do just that.
May my mouth speak words of comfort and encouragement, even when I bring chastisement. I want to be like Jesus. Praise His name.
I hope your friend has forgiven you, as our Heavenly Father has. Your offense was already forgiven the moment you had the desire in your heart to make right that which had gone wrong. God looks at our hearts and yours is a beauty....
I think we can all see ourselves in your words - as we have all done the same at one time or another.
The reminder is also a good one, for there are so many opportunities to do the wrong thing, and it takes effort to resist that and do what is right.
The love and repentance in your response is genuine and I know that person knows that - and I also know that is one of the things that makes you so very special to your friends - and so very dear to me.
I could not help but remember the times I have done just what you said you did, hurt someone with my words. The hurt I bore for doing that may have exceeded the hurt of the recipient. Larry Lilly has been writing some wonderful articles on friendship lately at FaithWriters. This article of yours is a good one, and you could have been writing a short biography of many of us. Thanks for making me think again on the value of friends and our responsibility to them. Thomas
Oh Lucian! This is such a powerful witness to the behavior a man of God would exhibit when he is convicted in his heart about something. You have reminded me (and many others, I suspect)that when we stumble in our human weakness, we can ask others, and our Lord, to forgive us. Bless you dear brother.