"...we will be seen more distinctly." you wrote.
But the next line spoke of being humble?....when one is truly humble, first of all they do not know that they are humble and next to that they sure don't care about being seen.
What did you really mean? I'm sure you have a point/lesson in there some where but it got lost in your words. (This would be a tough one to put into words, but, hey, you asked for a critique and here's one) :o)