This is an article dedicated to those who have been praying for my family and me, Trudy, Shannon, Jounda, Julia, and everyone else who took the time to send prayers to Our Father on my behalf. This is also a request to please continue if you can.
I want to share with you what transpired tonight. It's such a small thing really, but to those of you who have been following the story of my fallout with my son Kevin, well, to me it is HUGE!
Tonight, we had an actual conversation, which went as follows. Kevin came in as usual, and headed for the kitchen.
"Mom, my head is killing me again. Do you have anything here that I can take? Preferably something to knock me out too, because (his cousin)'s mouth never stops running and she's driving me crazy!"
So I scrounged around and found the bottle of Tylenol PM I bought for him while he still lived here. My son has suffered from debilitating migraines for most of his life, as in "Please don't touch the light! I can't move or I'm gonna get sick!" Those kind. Awful.
Then he opened up the fridge. "Do you have anything left over, maybe some of that chili you made last week?" He is twenty, after all. He eats like he's always starving. He might be, for all I know. I hope not, as I have told him he is more than welcome at the table, in this home, for visits and computer usage. He just can't live here at this point in time. Meanwhile, he is keeping up a steady chatter. Which gets cut off midsentence as he surveys the contents of my fridge. "Mom! You don't have any food in here!" Now, before anyone gets the idea that my family is literally starving, we're not. We don't have very much, but we have enough. We're okay. Plus, there is a huge jar of peanut butter on my table and an extra loaf of bread!
"Not much," I say, "but you're welcome to whatever you can find around here."
"Last night at three a.m.," Kevin starts to say as he rummages around in the cabinets.
Of course, Mommy mode kicked in. "What were you doing out at three a.m.?" I ask.
"Um, well, we were just, well," he stumbles around a bit, "well, you know."
Yes, I do know. I have a bit of a wild child past so I know exactly what he was up to, and he knows I know too because I haven't hidden myself from him.
"I hit a deer!" he continues.
A million questions start pouring out of me. First, most of you know what could have been the story here, having witnessed or at least heard of the damage these deer can do to vehicles, not to mention people! Praise God, He kept my son safe! And not only my son, but his friends, and even the deer! If my son had killed this deer, he would have been devastated. He can't even kill a cricket! This was a miracle! The car sustained minor damage (a blessing in itself since Kevin is driving around at present with NO INSURANCE!), no one in the car was hurt, and, according to Kevin, "The deer just jumped up after a few minutes and jumped over the guardrail like nothing had happened!"
Kevin finally gave up on his quest for food, and asked me for five dollars, which I gave him because I had it.
Then, as he was leaving, my son, to whom, and with whom, very few civil words that weren't shouted at one another have been spoken of late, leaned over (I'm five feet tall--he's six-two) and HUGGED me and told me he loved me! The only time my son, this son, ever hugs me is on my birthday, or his, and Christmas.
And so my little spark of hope in this situation has been fanned into a tiny flame. God is present. He does care. Not only for me, but for my son, my family. And my thankfulness to Him, and to all of you for your prayers is overflowing in this moment. My son hugged me! Such a small act, yet it meant so much. My Father God kept my son from harm last night, and gave me a blessing today. When the words, "I love you" passed through Kevin's lips, this time they were real, not just said because that's what we always say to each other, even while fighting. He meant it, this time.
So, God bless each and every one of you tonight, and forevermore. You have been faithful to not only Him, but to a fellow traveler also. I feel like I'm enveloped in warmth, the warmth that comes when you feel His love and care. I feel like each one of you is helping me just keep walking forward, even if you are having to move my legs for me right now, and I am anxious for the day when I can do the same for you. Some of you did not even know for whom you were praying, you just heard the call, and you answered it. I probably wasn't the only one you were praying for, certainly not the only one who needed it. I just want you to know--you came through for me.
Please don't stop. I need you.
Dear God, thank you for the blessings you place into my life, those I can see, and those I can't. Thank you for my friends here in this place. I ask you to bless each one of them. Thank you for your faithfulness to us. Please keep your hand upon my son as he finds his way, and send the right people into his path. In Jesus' name I pray--Amen.
Tonight, as I lay down to sleep, this is what I will envision. I am in the crook of one of my Father's arms, and my son Kevin is in the other, and we are both safe for a time while God keeps watch. We are separate, yet connected.
I will continue to press on.
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