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The Ride
by dara strickland
For Sale
Author requests article critique




The Christian
Reverend Peers

Narrator: Hebrews 9:27, ďand it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.Ē
Do you see these people? Ah yes I know you do. They are various kinds people from various types of backgrounds. Each one unique, all awaiting the big trip! The train is coming; this is a ride they wonít soon forget! (Ha, ha, ha)
{Passengers hand the Conductor their tickets}

Conductor: All aboard! (Seeing the Christian coming towards the trainÖ) Hey, this isnít your train! We donít want your kind on board! Youíll have to take a seat out here and wait for your own train!
{The door closes}

Driver: Passengers take your seats and have a pleasant trip! Ha Ha Ha!
{Whistle blows}

Narrator: The train pulls out of the station slowly at first then it begins to picks up speed. The daylight begins to fade and in itís place an eerie darkness. The passengers began to talk among themselves.

Preacher:(looking around) Excuse me, but does anyone have the time?

Tina: Yeah, its, its. Thatís funny my watch has stopped. (Tapping watch)

All Passengers: Mine too. Mine too.

Conductor: Happens every time.

All Passengers: What happens?

Conductors: Well on this trip there is no time, all time ceases here!

Ray: Hey man, what kind of ride is this?

Driver: The Hellbound Express! (Driver turns and for the first time they see his face, it is the devil.)

All Passengers: Screaming; help me; let me off; no, no, no; nooo!

Conductor: Sit down and stop that infernal screaming! Youíll have time for all that when we reach our destination. (Grinning sheepishly.)

Reverend Peers: I, I must have gotten on the wrong train, thatís it! (Spotlight on him.) Iím a preacher and preachers donít go to hell! Iíve always taught the golden rule.

Chorus: Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you.

Reverend Peers: Iíve written books!

Chorus: Be Happy by Reverend Peers!

Reverend Peers: (in a preachy voice) Iíve preached a ďPositive Gospel,Ē I talked about Jesus and the ďBe happy Attitudes.Ē You see I believe weíre all Godís children and as long as we do what is right thatís itís own reward!

Conductor: Shut-up preacher! Weíve heard it all before, youíre the reason our next load will be full!

Driver: Ah yes, Iíve sat in your congregation many-a Sunday and thoroughly enjoyed myself. None of that Calvary stuff, no calls to repentance, no altar calls now thatís my kind of religion! (Ha ha ha) Gotta song for ya preacher, hit it!

Chorus: (singing) I did it my way!
{Preacher takes his seat in shame sobbing}

Tina: WhyÖ am I here? Iím just a kid and even the law doesnít treat me like an adult. I, I canít even vote!

Conductor: well, Tina girlÖ

Tina: How did you know my name?

Conductor: Donít interrupt your Elders girl it ainít polite. Anyway I know all my passengers. Donít you remember going to Church with old Mom and Dad? You heard that cursed Gospel but you didnít believe it. You do know right from wrong and didnít you just tell your MomÖ

Chorus: Iím old enough to make my own decisions. This is my life!

Tina: How did you know about! Anyhow, I wasnít so bad; sure I smoked alittle weed and drank alittle but everybody is doing it! I had sex but I was always careful, I had safe sex! Okay, so I didnít always obey my parents but they donít understand. See they donít want me to have any fun. (Whining) They were trying to run my life!

Driver: Tina, Tina, Tina! Have you not read, ďChildren obey your parents in the Lord for this is right (coughing) Lord for this is right.Ē? You moron, you shoulda listened!

Conductor: Yeah girl, you didnít take that old Gospel seriously, you thought it was for squares but now you know! (Ha ha ha)

Narrator: Tina lays in a fetal position and cries.

Jerry: Well I go to church with my mate John and we are very spiritual. So I just know that youíve made a dreadful mistake and frankly Iíd like to get off NOW!

Conductor: Ah, keep your skirt on. (Ha ha ha) Surely you jest, you are definitely on the wrong train, Jerry!

Jerry: Doesnít the good book say, ďTo thine ownself be true?Ē

Driver: No dearie Shakespeare said that! But please continue.

Jerry: Well anyway, Iím not going to be some phony. Iím not going to pretend! God made me this way and Iím going to live the way he intended me too. ďTo each his own I always say!Ē

Conductor: Yeah, Jer I like that old saying too. I think the Driver made it up. But Jer donít you remember that tract you read that said, homosexuality is a sin and that if you donít repent and ask Jesus into your heart youíd die and go to HELL!

Jerry: Yeeeees! But that was written by a Homophobic! God is love and He wouldnít throw somebody in hell. Anyway He tells us to share our love and I choose to share mine in this wayÖOh John I wish you were here!

Driver: Iíll pick him up in two years; YOU gave him Aids. Jer face it like a man, I mean a woman (hee, hee, hee) for all you do this rides for you!

Narrator: Jerry pulls out a pink handkerchief and begins to cry.

Gladys: Huh, after listening to all of, of these people. (Pointing at everybody) I know Iím on the wrong train!

Driver: Whyís that Gladys?

Gladys: Iím not like any of theseÖ Iím a good woman! I give my money and my time to charity! I go to church occasionally and I believe in God!

Driver, Conductor & Chorus: We do too!

Gladys: Sure, Sure but Iím a good person! Iíve NEVER cheated on my husband or my taxes and I try never to lie. I raise my children to be good productive citizens. So please stop and let me off!

Conductor: (snidely) anything else Mrs.?

Gladys: (waving a flag) Yes, Iím a Republican!

Conductor: Hee, hee, hee, and a Republican too! Well lady you sure did all the right things and we can appreciate that, canít we boss?

Driver: Sure can! (Grinning)

Conductor: But Iíll tell you it just ainít enough. Have you ever heard this saying, ďI am the way the truth and the life and ye must be born-again?Ē That Jesus he kills me, he died to save you poor, pathetic humans but youíd rather do it yourselves!

Gladys: Iíve worked so hard to be good! It canít be in vain, sure I heard those sayings but only the weak-minded can believe that! Iím sure if my good works are laid in the balance against the few bad things Iíve done Iíll be okayÖ right?

Driver: (sympathetic voice) Oh sure Gladys! (In a loud sinister voice) But in the mean time youíre going to hell!

Narrator: Gladys screams!

Gladys: No, no, Nooooo!

Chorus: (Mockingly) NO, no, noooo!

Narrator: Gladys sits with her head in her hands crying, Iíve been a good girl.

Cheryl:(Looking at Gladys) Shut-up lady, I am sick of your crying! I know why Iím here but Iím gonna cut a deal!
Conductor: A deal Cheryl? (Strumming his fingers together) Are you propositioning me? (Ha, ha, ha).

Cheryl: Yeah thatís what I do. (Cooing) I know it ainít right but its living and a girlís got to make a living. Listen Iím not that bad, at lest Iím not pretending to be some goody-two-shoes! Okay, I sell my body but it beats giving it away for free1

Driver: Sure it does Cheryl but you said you knew why you were here, do tell.

Cheryl: Iím here because Iím a hooker. But, even in the Bible there were hookers! Itís the oldest profession known to man! Hey Jesus doesnít judge hookers cause he said, ďjudge not.Ē I was going to stop as soon as I made enough money to retire, this is backbreaking work and I do a service for the community. I keep men happy!

Conductor: Oh we applaud (Clapping) you tireless sacrifice, and oh the hours you put in! (Laughing) Weíve always maintained that prostitution should be legalized! But ďgirlfriendĒ you missed the point, you were brought up in the Church!

Cheryl: They were hypocrites!

Driver: (Patronizingly) Of course they were. But you heard the Gospel and you knew that my old enemy Jesus died for you. Were you told by your sweet old Grandma to ask Jesus into your heart. (Speaking in an old ladyís voice)

Cheryl: Okay, I knew but Grandma was kinda crazy, everything was Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! She made me nuts with that stuff, I prayed!

Conductor: But it takes faith and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ to get to heaven! (In a cruel voice) Even we know that Cheryl!

Driver: No dice!

Conductor: No deal!

Narrator: Cheryl thinks of Grandma and screams.

Cheryl: Grandma you were right, help me!

Ray: I guess itís my turn?

Conductor: Yep!

Ray: Man, I ainít begging, pleading or none of that! I knew the score!

Driver: What you knew plus you equals nothing!

Ray: Funny. Man hell ainít nothiní but a party and Iím crashiní it! When I joined the gang we made a pack to live for today, smoke our enemies; die young and party in hell! Yall donít scare me!

Conductor: (In a cool voice) well, my brother the party will begin shortly!

Chorus: Screams.

Ray: Whaaatís that? (Looking around)

Driver: (Doing a little dance) thatís the parrrrta!

Ray: Why are they screaminí, whereís the music?

Chorus: Screams.

Conductor: (Hand cocked to his ear) Ah thatís music to my ears! (Hahaha)

Ray: Hey, let me off, itís getting hot! I donít wanna go to hell, this is all wrong! I heard that I would see all my partners that pasted on and theyíd welcome me with wine, women and song! I donít like this!

Driver: Your partners from the hood are here. Listen.

Voice: Ray-------- its me Jimmy B.; help me (screaming) pleaseÖ No let go of me!

Ray: No! (Pulls gun) let me off now! (Grabs Gladys) Iíll kill her stop this train!

Chorus: Shoot her Ray, shoot herÖ

Ray: PleaseÖ let me off. I joined the gangs to survive the streets. Sure I shoot and killed some people but it was self-defense. Okay I sold crack but I needed money. I raped a girl but she was asking for it. (Turns Gladys loose and drops gun.) God help me!

Driver: Iím going to Ray, youíll see!

Ray: Iím not talking to you Iím talking to the man upstairs!

Conductor: Oh he canít hear you!

Ray: Why didnít I listen to Gail? She told me about this but I wouldnít listen, I wouldnít pay her any attention. I saidÖ

Chorus: Thatís a fantasy! A White-manís dream!

Driver: Pie in the sky, hey Ray!

Ray: JesusÖ HelpÖ MeÖ

Conductor: Heíd like to Iím sure, but Ray you know the score. (Laughing)

Narrator: Ray falls to the floor in tears.

Driver: In case you wanted to know about that scum we turned away at the station.

Passengers: He must have been real bad; a child molester; a mass murderer; Jeffery Dahmer!

Driver: No! He was a real born-again, Bible-believing, Spirit-filled, God-fearing Christian! His kind arenít welcomed on this ride! No, not with all you good old sinners!

Lights Out!
The End

The Ride

What do I need to pull this off, you may ask? The props can be quite simple or very creative!

You will need eight chairs
One clipboard for the Conductor
Seven tickets
One train whistle
One scary devil mask (For the Driver)
One newspaper (For the Driver)
One Bible (For Reverend Peers)
All Passengers should have watches
One toy Gun (For Ray)
One small hand held flag (For Gladys)
If your church has a choir loft you can place the members of the chorus there. If not the front row pew will work.
Spotlights are optional
The Narrator may sit or stand, but the use of a podium maybe required.
Someone can supply the voice of Jimmy B. in the Chorus, or someone youíve placed in the audience.

* Some Suggestions*
I used a special effects tape, with scary noises and screams; the volume turned up just enough to make it eerie! I also used a strobe light to give it the effect of moving. If you can find a tape with the sound of a train it will make the effect complete!

*Words from the author*

When I wrote this piece the Lord had placed in my heart an urgency to let people know the danger theyíre in without Christ in their lives. It is my sincere prayer that this play will be used to lead souls to King Jesus!
Dara Strickland

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