Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!



 
Short Stories PLEASE ENCOURAGE THE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING

  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
Silver Haired Rebel
by Betty Castleberry
10/27/06
Free to Share
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





The old maple tree shaded the back porch where the elderly couple sat. Irene shifted in her chair to look at Hal, who was nodding off beside her. “Wake up, Dad. You won’t sleep tonight.”

Hal spent a lot of time sleeping these days. He opened one eye and looked at his bride of nearly sixty years. “I’m just restin’ my eyes.”

“Well, you were snorin’.”

The two sat in comfortable silence watching the hummingbirds at the feeder. Irene reached over and patted her husband’s knee. “Cute, ain’t they? Their wings are beating so fast, you can’t even see ‘em.”

“Who’s eatin’ so fast?” Hal didn’t hear so well these days, either.

“I said the hummingbird’s wings are beatin’ so fast.”

“Oh. Let’s have a glass of tea, Mama.”

Irene rose to go get their tea. When she returned, Hal had fallen asleep again. “Hal, wake up. Here’s your tea.”

He yawned and reached for the glass she handed him. “You make the best sweet tea there ever was. You know, Mama, I think I want fried dill pickles for supper. Then I want a Twinkie for dessert.”

Irene whipped her head around and looked at Hal. “Fried dill pickles and Twinkies? Heavens, what a combination. Besides, you know the doctor wouldn’t approve of that a’tall. He said no fried stuff, and I say Twinkies ain’t good for nobody.”

“Fryin’ won’t make ‘em tough. Never does. Besides, what do I care what the doctor says? The Lord only gives us so many days on this earth anyway. I’d like to enjoy the ones I got left.”

“Dad, I said the doctor said no fried stuff. I didn’t say it would make the pickles tough. I want you to do what the doc says. Besides, I’d like to keep you around as long as possible.”

Hal sat his glass of tea down on the side table next to his chair. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and tented his fingers. Irene knew the pose well. He was thinking. Hal was a patient man, but he could be inflexible, too. When he wanted something, he usually didn’t let it go, but instead pursued it in his iron-willed way.

“We got Twinkies, don’t we?”

“Yes, we have some.”

“Why’d you buy ‘em if they ain’t good for nobody?”

“I bought ‘em for the great grandkids. Little kids are the exception to the rule. Twinkies won’t hurt them none. They’ll just run them off in no time anyhow.”

Hal nodded, and swatted a fly away from his glass. “I guess we could have a salad and some of that whole wheat bread if you think that’d be better.”

“Well, Dad, it would be better for you. You’d be mindin’ the doc that way, too.”

“Butter for me? Now you’re talkin’, and I agree. I think we should be findin’ a new doc, too, Ma.”

Irene started to tell Hal what she had really said, but decided against it. Suppressing a grin, she looked at his features. His ears were a little too big for his head, and he had a small scar under his left eye. He’d had it ever since she had known him. Claimed his brother gave it to him in a scuffle when they were kids. His velvet brown eyes had always weakened her. She reflected on their years together. Hal had been an excellent provider for her and their four children. He was patient and understanding, although she would have to say stubborn, too. With each passing day, she loved him more than the day she married him.

“Speakin’ of supper, it’s about time for me to go fix it. Let’s eat it out here on the porch.”

Irene left to go fix their supper, and Hal nodded off in his chair. He awoke to a gentle touch on his shoulder.

Irene was standing beside him holding a pretty silver tray. “Here’s your supper, Dad.” The tray held a fresh glass of tea, a plate of fried dill pickles, and two Twinkies.

Hal grinned broadly. “Let’s eat dessert first, Mama.”


If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

Read more articles by Betty Castleberry or search for articles on the same topic or others.


Read More - Free Reprints, Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Christian writers can JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and help spread the Gospel.


The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

Hire a Christian Writer, Christian Writer Wanted, Christian Writer Needed, Christian Content Needed
Find a Christian Editor, Hire a Christian Editor, Christian Editor, Find a Christian Writer
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 1305 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date
Leigh MacKelvey 25 Jul 2007
Oh Betty! What a wonderful couple. This remined me of my mother who passed away in 2004. She had Alzheimers, but it hadn't progressed as far as it could have before she dies and "Dad" remined of the things she did and said. And I never corrected her or toldher she'd told me something 20 times already. I figured it was the least I could do to not get her upset. As long as she was happy, I'd have answered the same question a bjillion times! I loved your story and your characterization. Very well written! Love, Leigh
Verna Cole Mitchell  25 Nov 2006
I really enjoyed this. I could feel the love and comfortable companionship of the couple. I know just how the wife felt. I want to keep my husband around with me as long as God allows. Congratulations on a delightful story.
Rebecca Livermore 23 Nov 2006
This was such a sweet story. Thanks for sharing it!
Todd Tribble 21 Nov 2006
This was just a beautiful piece. It conjured up fond memories of my grandparents and how they used to interact with each other. It was put together with a lot of love and patience...well done.
Joanne Sher  20 Nov 2006
Oh, Betty! This is SO delightful and warm. You did an awesome job of characterization. Congrats on getting the showcase!!
Amy Michelle Wiley  20 Nov 2006
Awww, sweet story.
Jan Ackerson  29 Oct 2006
Betty, this is adorable! Look for it to appear on the Front Page Showcase for the week of November 20th. It's on Faith Writer's home page. Thanks for this great story!
SYLVIA KING 27 Oct 2006
This is a delightful piece. My Mom and Dad had 501/2 year before he went home to heaven. They taught us kids the true meaning of love between a married couple. The boys learned how to treat their wives and we learned how to assure our husbands they were number one. Thanks for sharing this story. Janie
Thomas Kittrell 27 Oct 2006
Betty, I just loved this. It made me think of me and my bride of 45 years, who is an RN. I chuckled while reading, and brightened up a lot. Just keep the writing up, trust in the Good Lord, and thank you for sharing this.
Thomas
www.dustonthebible.com




TRUST JESUS TODAY














Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com