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by Suellen Fry
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It was a warm, spring morning. The birds were singing, and flowers were blooming where once there was only bare empty ground. Tadpoles were swimming in nearby ponds, waiting to evolve into frogs!!

It was also a very special morning! It was Good Friday, the day a new baby girl was born, and the day that our Lord Jesus was nailed to a cross dying for our sins!

The new baby girl's mom and dad held her close, admiring their newest addition to an already growing family! Little did that baby girl know…that Jesus had her whole life already mapped-out. He knew every breath that she would breathe! He knew every tear that she would cry. He knew every smile that would be planted onto her face! As a matter of fact…Jesus knew this precious baby girl before she was even in her mother's womb! (Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you…).”

The baby girl was taken to her new home a few days later! As time passed, she became very fussy and the family physician would tell her parents that she had colic. Many sleepless nights lay ahead for her parents. But….as hard as she tried, her mom just couldn't soothe her aches and pains. However….as soon as her dad would pick her up, cradle her in his arms, and begin to rock her; she would stop crying. She was daddy's little girl.

Daddy's little girl began to walk…and talk! She began to form a mind of her own!

At the age of two, with pacifier tied to her neck, she would very carefully climb up to reach the phone. There were phone calls to be made! However…according to her mom, these phone calls were an expense that the family really couldn't afford!!!

There was talk among the adults of how this little girl had a mind of her own! “What a free spirit this one is,” they would say.

And…while she struggled with a strong will, she would secretly go to her bedroom, close the door behind her and pray. Most of all, what she really wanted was to be close to Jesus! She asked God how she could be a saint! What should she do??? So… she went to her bedroom and built an altar for the Lord. After many snickers and teasing from her peers, she backed down. She took down that altar and started toward another journey.

This particular journey took her down many bumpy roads! Still…the Lord continued to love her and walk closely by her side.

Her dad was now a traveling salesman. His time at home was few and far between. She often thought back to the time when he went away for the very first time. The whole family sat around the living room and wept. “Where was father going?” She didn't want him to leave. But he had to go and make a living so that they could eat. There were no food stamps or welfare checks! Everyone gave father a hug and a kiss good-bye.

And…that's when everything in the little girl's life changed forever.

As her teenaged years approached, she felt lost and afraid…mostly afraid. It seemed as if all she really wanted was to be loved and to have approval. So…she set out to do just that. And for a while…it worked! She became lost to the world and its ways and had the approval of many and the love (or so she thought). Still…..there was this void!

Daddy's little girl was now grown…….and the once cradled relationship was withered.

Her father seemed tired all of the time. And when he did return home from his long business trips, he always seemed impatient and angry. There were no more hugs and rocking her in the rocking chair. She would often wonder where she went wrong and why her dad had stopped loving her.

So …she continued to turn to others to get back the love that she so longed for from her father. But now that she was of age, she would turn to men. “If a man could love me, maybe that would fill the void," she thought. But no matter how hard she tried…..she still felt empty inside.

She would often think of her father. “Why is he always angry with me?” she thought. She would call home and as soon as her dad heard her voice, he would hand the phone over to her mom. “Why won't he speak with me?” All she could think of was one thing, "why won't he love me?" “Why can't I be daddy's little girl again?”

Time went on and the little girl decided NEVER to be like her dad.

Then, she had kids of her own. And in the wake of reality she realized…she was just like her dad! And…..still trying to fill the black hole in her heart with anything but God, she was now bitter and angry. All of those years of hurt and pain seemed to seep through her skin! Now at 49 years old, she was still weeping for her father's love.

Then…it happened! While in the midst of her messed up mind and crumpled up life, the Lord spoke to her LOUD and CLEAR.

“When are you going to stop?” “You are slowly killing yourself!” She heard the same Lord speak the same message for 3 weeks straight. HE never gave up on her! Even when she deserted HIM for all those years, he never left her! He stood right by her side the entire time. Through every bad choice, every mistake, every screwed up thing she did…he stood right by her side. Jesus was just as persistent as the little girl was! And…just when she thought there could be nothing to fill her broken-down spirit and empty heart, her father in heaven gave her the only thing she ever really needed…….HIS DIVINE LOVE.

The pain and hurt seemed to lift for the first time. She could let go now. She could give all that pain to HIM. Isn't that why he died for her to begin with?? She suddenly remembered…she was born on Good Friday…the day her Sovereign Father sacrificed his life for her! Forgiveness seemed to cover her, cloaking her with the mercy and the grace of God. She realized, for the first time, that only the Lord himself could fill that black hole in her heart!!

And…the miracles of miracles slowly began to unfold before her! She now only felt compassion for her dad. Her anger and pain was lifted. Now all she wanted was to take away her own dad's pain. And she thought, that if she could take away all his years of pain and hurt, that she would. If only she could...she would. She would hold her own dad in her arms and rock the pain away. But…..she knew that she couldn't. That was not her job. It was in God's hands. It was the Lord's job now.

So the little girl continues to grow and thrive. She continues to lift her dad up to his father in heaven in prayer. And …when she thinks of her dad, she remembers the dad, who fondly held her in his arms, while rocking her to sleep.

To my dad: psalms 34:18, 19

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I will always be your little girl

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