Once there was a woman,
Grandma was her name.
Her world was spinning much too fast...
Nothing seemed the same.
Her bank used to be so pleasant,
Lovely tellers sat within.
But now she stares at an ATM...
"Oh dear, I forgot my PIN."
Her grocery store is different, too.
It's not what it used to be.
"Where's your VIP shopping card?
Will this be an EFT?"
There's answering machines, call waiting,
ID boxes and that ain't all.
There's cell phones, pagers, beepers...
Can't miss a single call!
And for the viewing public
VCRs were not enough.
"A satellite is what we need...
They 'dish out' lots more stuff."
There's a wealth of information
One can access on the Web.
Poor Grandma has "information overload!"
See her go to bed?
She stumbles down the hallway
With faltering steps, not brisk,
Holding her back and mumbling,
"I think I slipped my floppy disk."
But Grandma arose determined.
"I'll learn! I cannot fail!
I refuse to be cyber-challenged."
Then came that dreadful E-mail...
"Grandma, O dear Grandma!
I've got something new. Please try!
It's voice mail at 1-800..."
Poor Grandma began to cry.
Just then the telephone began to ring,
But the cordless seemed to be broke,
'Cause Grandma kept saying, "Hello, hello..."
Into her CD remote.
Grandma snapped that fateful day.
She began to rant and rave.
Something about the alphabet...
Then stuck her head in the microwave!
This is a true story... except the head in the microwave part. :)
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