I have heard much discussion on the topic of Christian men and pornography addiction. I am sure there are many books and publications on the subject, yet the problem seems to be getting worse instead of better. I have discussed this subject with many Christian men that suffer from this problem and after much study in the word of God and of the American psyche I feel I have something to offer on the subject in hopes that this article may help someone out there to break this cycle of addiction.
As a young man my father had thousands of pornographic magazines in our house. They were under every bed, in every bathroom and even in the living room. They were in plain view for all to see. My father was not a Christian at the time, but his father was the greatest example of a Christian man I ever knew. Every male friend I had had a father that had pornographic material in their home too. It seemed very normal because no one ever told me this was wrong, yet somewhere deep in my heart I knew it was. Let me clarify the word wrong; I mean not in line with Godís thinking. For many years I had these images burned into my memory. I had seen literally thousands of these pictures and read many of the articles associated with them. I canít remember any particular memory or harm associated with my exposure to this media.
One thing that always struck me as odd was that women seemed to always be the sex that was exploited in these pictures. I often wondered how many of these women were forced into this life style or by way of there circumstances were felt this was a way to make a living. What ever the reason I am sure that millions of women have suffered greatly because of this multi billion dollar industry.
If you are a Christian man hooked on porn please keep reading. You are not a bad or evil person. Youíve made the mistake of believing a lie and hopefully after reading this you will have the mental process and ability to stop.
In my book Virtues for a Crazy World there is part of a chapter on Temperance that talks about alcoholism which I feel is appropriate to include a part of it here. Iíll explain why later.
(Jesus himself said, ďDo not lie with the drunkard least the master of the house comes and finds you sleeping.Ē I love math. I actually won the national math contest in the tenth grade. Math is really very simple. One plus one equals two. If you eliminate any part of the equation you will not arrive at the intended sum. Letís apply that line of thought to drinking. How can someone avoid the pitfalls of drinking? A person drives home from work and stops off at the pub, (part one of the equation.) Their buddies prompt them to have one drink; after all it canít hurt anything. They do, (part two of the equation.) They have more than one, as usual; get drunk, drive home and start a fight with their loved ones, (the sum.) Again, if we eliminate any part of the equation, we will not arrive at the sum. Get it? Pretty simple, huh? Iíve heard that scientist have discovered a gene that predisposes a person to be an alcoholic. Huh, sounds pretty scientific, doesnít it? Not really. I have the answer to that one too. Donít pick up the bottle and the gene will never be turned on! I have seen alcohol turn good honest men of all colors into immoral, unmanly, profane idiots. These are the same men who without alcohol in their system are normally good, wholesome fathers, husbands, and workers. Again, a little alcohol in moderation is okay. Even Jesus said; ďto take a little wine for the belly.Ē Food or liquor and most things in life in moderation are okay. If a man or woman allows himself or herself to be ruled by alcohol, that person is weak, both in willpower and in spirit, but how can they avoid it. Huh? Letís see, oh, I have it. Donít buy it, donít hang out in bars, and donít hang out with others that do. Duh! For those of you not up on todayís lingo, duh means of course, stupid, no brainer, etc. I know I sound harsh, but alcoholism is a harsh subject. Millions of lives every day are destroyed, interrupted or changed forever by the effects of alcohol and overeating contributes to most of our social physical problems. Notice, I said the effects of alcohol, not alcohol itself. Again, if you donítí pick up the bottle, then the alcohol canít get to your mouth, stomach and yea, your brain.)
I mentioned the above because it includes a simple formula that if followed can work to help anyone avoid almost any kind of temptation. We will talk more about this later.
Letís go back to the first question any of us ask ourselves when we first find ourselves in a mess such as an addiction. HOW DID I GET HERE? Good question isnít it? Iím a Christian. I shouldnít be doing such things. Why canít I stop? Does this mean I donít love God? Am I a bad person? Am I perverted? What if someone finds out? What would my wife think? What would my pastor and church think? How do I get out of this with my life in tact? Iím sure there are many other questions that may be asked as well, but notice the first word of each question; why?
Hereís the answer. Are you ready? You are human. Yes, thatís the answer. You, me and every other person that ever walked on this ball of mud is human and because we are human we sin. Itís that simple. Donít stop reading. Thereís much more I promise. Now, back to the why question. Letís turn to Godís word for the answer.
Jas 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Jas 1:15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
Now donít get squeamish because I used the word lust. This word can pertain to anything. A person can lust after wealth, health, money, opposite sex, anything. Each person is different and different things attract different people. Hereís the key to this whole thing. Satan knows what you like. He knows what entices you. He knows what you lust for. He knows it better than you do. In fact you yourself will deny the very affinity you have for something and this is where satan has you. He will not deny it. He will throw it in your face every chance he gets.
I know a man that is the salt of the earth. There is nothing that can shake his faith. He knows the scripture and I am for sure he loves the Lord with all his might. There is no place in his life that satan can attack him, except for one and that is internet pornography. He has confided in me and asked me to be his accountability partner. Iíll talk about that later also. He does not spend hours and days on the internet looking at porn. No, he even goes out of his way to avoid getting on the net because he knows that this is dangerous for him. It only happens occasionally when he has been doing well for long periods of time and he finds himself working on the net with no intention or thought of looking at porn; then some little spam pop-up or advertisement will shoot a thought or suggestion into his mind and before he knows it he finds himself on a porn site. He has told me how repulsed he is at himself and he really does not know how he arrives at this place. He is sickened by it and finds himself hurt, depressed and turning his face away from God in embarrassment and shame.
This is exactly the place satan wants you at. (I know satan should be capitilized, but I refuse to give him any glory whatsoever, so I donít) He wants you to feel THAT YOU CANíT TURN TO GOD AND ASK FORGIVENESS. This is where he can do the most damage because when you feel that God is ashamed of you and wonít listen to you, then you have already cut yourself off from God. We have to go to scripture again for insight.
KJV (Romans 8) Standard Version
Ro 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus.
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Ro 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus made me free from the law of sin and of death.
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Ro 8:3 For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God, sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:
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Ro 8:4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. that the ordinance of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
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Ro 8:5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
This is the key to Christianity. You and I as forgiven Christians are free from the guilt that the law demands. We are not under any law. We live in the pure undeserving love and grace and forgiveness of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Son of God Himself. For some strange reason we still believe the lie that we have got to be perfect for God to love and forgive us. The truth is He loved us before we were even born or thought of by our families. I know this because in the book of Genesis God already had a plan of salvation. Letís look at this.
Ge 3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. and I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed: he shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
This is a prophecy of when Jesus would be wounded (shalt bruise his heel) by dying on the cross for the sins of all mankind, but would rise again from the dead and conquer sin and death (it shall bruise thy head, (thatís satanís head). God was thinking of you even then, so He loved you before anyone knew you, but He knew and loved you even then.
The following is my favorite scripture and when I discovered what it was really saying it was the turning point and the greatest faith building moment in my Christian life.
Mt 7:9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or what man is there of you, who, if his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone;
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Mt 7:10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? or if he shall ask for a fish, will give him a serpent?
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Mt 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them
I had read this scripture many times but never really understood its full meaning until about seven years ago. I know how much I love my own children and I would not hesitate to give my life for them if need be. So, this being the case and me being evil and sinful and still love my children so much and would do anything and give anything to them; and God whoís love and grace is so far greater than the best person that ever lived and He has called me His child because Jesus has saved me and covered me with His blood; how could He ever turn me away when I come to Him for any and every reason? I know that was a long sentence and difficult to read, but It all had to go together. When my children do something wrong and hide it from me I always know something is wrong. The way they act toward me is different than when they are doing right. They avoid eye contact and close conversations. When we sin against God we do the same thing. We pray less or not at all and we avoid closeness with Him afraid He will find out. Guess what, HE ALREADY KNOWS. We are so foolish. We act just like little children. He knows that and in His eyes we are. I wish I could explain His unfathomable and endless love and mercy, but I canít. I can give you a glimpse of it. It is called the cross. Take a moment and close your eyes. [Try to see Jesus caring the cross to Golgotha. See the pain and anguish and the blood on His face. Watch as the Roman soldiers beat the nails into His hands and feet. Hear His anguish as they hoist him high into the air.] Got it? Thatís how much He loves you. So, why would He ever turn you away?
Iíve said all this to say this. God does not un-love you because you sin. Do you stop loving your children for messing up? Of course not, neither does He. There is one more truth I would like to share. It is not sin that sends you to hell. Also, it is not your good works that sends you to heaven. Read the following.
Joh 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. He that believeth on him is not judged: he that believeth not hath been judged already, because he hath not believed on the name of the only begotten Son of God.
So, now we know that God will not turn us away and we are saved because we believe in Him. We can move forward and talk about this thing called pornography.
Pornography has been around every since photographs have. We can go back further still and all through history man has painted nudes. Anyone can go to most any art museum and view hundreds and thousands of nude or partially nude paintings by many well know painters. Also, there are tens of thousands of nude statues that are available for viewing. Do we call this porn? Of course not, this is art. In its truest form the human body is a most beautiful subject. Magazines and newspapers today are full of partially nude models for anyone to see. This is not porn; it is advertisement.
When does it become pornography? In my opinion it becomes porn when the photograph or video is made for the sole purpose of displaying the human form and the sexual interactions between people as a form of entertainment. Donít get me wrong. I think there is way to much flesh in advertisement. I am just trying to establish a base from which we can work from.
In the beginning Adam and Eve were naked and did not think anything about it.
Ge 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
It was not until they sinned that they were ashamed of their nakedness.
Ge 3:7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig-leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
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Ge 3:8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. And they heard the voice of Jehovah God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of Jehovah God amongst the trees of the garden.
The same is true about sex. Sex in its original form was pure and beautiful as long as it was confined to a husband and a wife as God intended. When I take a shower and walk into the bedroom to dress I am not ashamed to walk in front of my wife in my birthday suit, but I would be mortified if anyone else in the world saw me. So, the human body and human sexuality are God designed, God blessed and God intended in their designed form.
This is where pornography comes in. It is the human form and human sexuality outside of its intended form. This is why it is wrong in Gods eyes. It is not what He intended it to be. This is where satan comes in. He has always been an imitator of God. He canít be God so he imitates God and Godís design and creation in perverted forms. Marriage was designed by God for an intended purpose. Letís look at the word again.
Ge 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
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Ge 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
When a man and a woman marry they are no longer separate in any way. They are now one flesh. This is an important fact in our discussion because if a man sins by looking at porn, then he has stepped outside of Gods intended use of the human form and sexuality. The man has done this and hid it from his wife. Since the two are one flesh then he has sinned against himself and his wife because she is unaware of it. You ask, what if the man is not married? That is simple to answer; he is sinning against himself and God, so donít think it is okay just because you are not married. I will write about the single man that his addicted to porn later. Right now, I want to concentrate on the married man because this is where I see the most damage being done in the church.
Letís review a moment. Satan knows what attracts us and he uses it against us. God loves us and will never turn us, His children away. We are saved by grace not by good works. God created sex to be a wonderful part of marriage. Man and wife are one flesh and canít be separated in any way. Porn is a sin because it is a perverted effort by satan to imitate Godís original creation. Any questions? Good, we can move on.
I want to say I am not a counselor nor do I have a degree in this field. I am simply Christian man that has studied the Bible for most of my adult life and has watched and helped many people get through many difficult situations. My fields of study and degrees are in science and in medicine. I deal with people on a social level daily. I see the misery and hopelessness that porn, drugs, alcohol, infidelity, anger, hate and many other sins cause on a daily basis and I want to help.
Why are we as men attracted to pornography? Well, first of all men are very visual beings. Itís in the seeing or looking that we enjoy. So, naturally it is our eyes that lead us astray. When I was a child there were only magazines and a few peep shows that contained porn. Even then it was mostly what is called soft-core porn. Most of what I say as a child was simply naked pictures. Today porn is plastered everywhere we look. It is on TV, in magazines and on the world wide internet. It is so easily accessible and it has reached a different level. We call it hard-core porn and there are even violent aspects of porn that contain abuse, rape and even death.
I think like most sin it begins quite innocently. We see something and since our society has accepted it we donít think much about it. When I was young if your mother caught you with a nudy-book you got a whipping and she threw it away. End of story. It is very natural for a young boy to want to see the female form. God made the female form to attract the male of the species. This is true in the animal kingdom as well. It is perfectly natural. God did however gives us a few rules to follow.
Le 18:6 None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD. None of you shall approach to any that are near of kin to him, to uncover [their] nakedness: I am Jehovah.
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Le 18:7 The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness. The nakedness of thy father, even the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
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Le 18:8 The nakedness of thy father's wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father's nakedness. The nakedness of thy father`s wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father`s nakedness.
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Le 18:9 The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover. The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or the daughter of thy mother, whether born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.
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Le 18:10 The nakedness of thy son's daughter, or of thy daughter's daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for theirs is thine own nakedness. The nakedness of thy son`s daughter, or of thy daughter`s daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for theirs is thine own nakedness.
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Le 18:11 The nakedness of thy father's wife's daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness. The nakedness of thy father`s wife`s daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
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Le 18:12 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's sister: she is thy father's near kinswoman. Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father`s sister: she is thy father`s near kinswoman.
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Le 18:13 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister; for she is thy mother's near kinswoman. Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother`s sister: for she is thy mother`s near kinswoman.
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Le 18:14 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's brother, thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt. Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father`s brother, thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt.
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Le 18:15 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law: she is thy son's wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness. Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter-in-law: she is thy son`s wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
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Le 18:16 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother's wife: it is thy brother's nakedness. Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother`s wife: it is thy brother`s nakedness.
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Le 18:17 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter, neither shalt thou take her son's daughter, or her daughter's daughter, to uncover her nakedness; for they are her near kinswomen: it is wickedness. Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter; thou shalt not take her son`s daughter, or her daughter`s daughter, to uncover her nakedness; they are near kinswomen: it is wickedness.
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Le 18:18 Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time. And thou shalt not take a wife to her sister, to be a rival [to her], to uncover her nakedness, besides the other in her life-time.
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I know this is very redundant but I want to get the point across. Also, Jesus said this:
Mt 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. but I say unto you, that every one that looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
I canít think of any other reason for a man to look at a picture or video of a naked woman other than to lust after her. Iíd like to mention something very important here. When you look at a picture of another woman and lust after her you are setting a barrier in your mind that this woman is worth desiring and your wife is not. You are robbing your wife of your desires and focus. Remember when you first met, you thought she was sexy and desirable. You might say she doesnít look as good anymore. Well, I have news for you, neither do you. Sure she has changed over the years; she has sacrificed her body giving you children and taking care of you and your needs. Each time you turn your desires and lust toward another woman or even a picture or video you are stealing from your wife. She deserves your attention and lust. She deserves your advances and longing gazes. She deserves you and all your attention. Try remembering how she used to look and feel in your arms. Talk to her the way you used to when you were trying to seduce her. She is the same person she has always been. Okay, back to where we were. So the first step is we are drawn away or enticed by our own lust and desires to LOOK at something. Here is where we should be able to stop. All sin starts with a thought. We canít stop the thought but we can and should stop the thought process. The problem is most of us canít stop thatís why we sin. We know what we should do but donít. Paul said it this way:
Ro 7:13 Was then that which is good made death unto me? God forbid. But sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me by that which is good; that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful. For that which I do I know not: for not what I would, that do I practise; but what I hate, that I do.
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Ro 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. But if what I would not, that I do, I consent unto the law that it is good.
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Ro 7:15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
What I hate, that I do. Wow! Paul, the awesome man of God said that. Where does that leave you and me? I donít think it is an accident that God allowed this to be in the Bible that we read today. God gives us many examples of Godly men that sin and failed. David was know as a man after Godís own heart, yet he had one of the biggest falls and committed one of the biggest sins of all (in mans eyes) and it all started with watching a woman (that was not his wife) take a bath.
I think we have established that it is very difficult to not sin. It is in our very nature since Adam messed up. One might say, yea, but since we are born again, we should not continue to sin. That is correct, but the key words are (should not). We should not over eat, over drink, over spend, and so on and so on, but we do. Getting saved does change us but it is only the beginning of changing our minds and our habits. Our soul is set free instantly and we are forever Gods. Noting can take us out of His hands.
Ro 8:38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
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Ro 8:39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We are His. That is sealed in heaven. But what we are not is we are not perfect. We still have the same old bodies and brains. Both are now under the thought process of the Holy Spirit if we let them. Itís when we donít allow the Spirit to rule our lives, mind and bodies that we mess up. We now have a desire to do right, but still do wrong occasionally. How do we fix this? Letís look.
Ro 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Notice the word TRANSFORMED. This word implies that we need to change, that we are not finished and need finishing. So, salvation is the end for the soul but the beginning for our minds and bodies. So, donít think it strange that you still want to sin.
How do we transform our minds? We do this by filling our eyes and ears with the word of God. We read and study the word of God on a daily basis. We surround ourselves with other Christians that are also trying to do right. And, we donít look at and fill our eyes and ears with the old stuff we used to fill it with. It is a process that for most of us takes many years and even then we still need work.
Remember earlier I said that there was a formula that can help us not to fall into the old pattern of sin. One plus one equals two. If we remove any part of an equation we will not arrive at the sum. It is true that the internet is a very important part of our daily business and private lives. It seems we canít get along without it or can we? I seem to remember doing very well without the internet, the TV, video games, x-box, play station one and two. We spent a great deal of time reading, playing building and inventing things. Now, most everyone is glued in front of some kind of plasma screen. They tell us we need to stay connected via the cell phone and instant messenger and two way video calling and internet services. Everywhere you look someone is talking on a cell phone. Personally, I hate the blasted thing, but my household has four cells and four laptops. Itís just the way it is. So, if we have to have the technology, how can we avoid the porn on the technology? There is no acceptable one easy answer. There is an answer, but it is not so easy. Letís concentrate on the net for a moment because it seems to be the easiest most unnoticeable way for a man to look at porn without anyone knowing.
The first, most sensible thought that comes to mind is if you donít have to have the internet for business then get rid of it. It cost too much and produces nothing. Yes it makes some things easier, like buying, selling, finding movies and restaurants, oh and LOOKING AT PORN! It does seem very necessary for most of lifeís daily goings on here in the good old US of A. Most work places now have internet porn filters in place to help deter the stolen peak and nakedness. There was a well respected man in my church that recently was passed over for a promotion because his boss found out that he had been looking at porn on his office terminal. It was devastating to him and his family when the truth came out. Is he a bad man? No, he has believed a lie and it lead to sin. Thatís all plain and simple. What about the rest of the media porn is attached too? We canít get rid of all of it can we? The answer must lie in our ability not to go there or look at it. But, how???????
The reality of the situation is that porn is here to stay. Itís everywhere and readily available. I mentioned earlier that all willful sin starts with a thought. Porn starts with a thought and or a look. I donít know any man that brags about being hooked on porn. Mostly, they do it in secret and go to great links to hide the fact. They know or feel it is wrong so they conceal it. This is the other most important thing satan uses against us as men. We are strong and prideful and we think it is better to keep it all to ourselves and as long as no one knows about it we can work it out in time. This is a great lie and satan uses it to the uttermost. Iím going to tell you the first secret to helping you stop looking at porn. TELL SOMEONE. Find a Christian man that you trust without fail and ask him to be an accountability partner. I donít mean just anyone. He must be someone that you know will not tell others and will on a daily basis check on you to see if you are avoiding pornography. I know this is hard to understand, but trust me it is the first and most important thing you must do if you want to be the man God wants and knows you to be.
Jas 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Confess therefore your sins one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The supplication of a righteous man availeth much in its working.
Notice the second version of the above scripture. ďConfess your sins and pray for one another.Ē As you can see this is not a new idea and it does work. There is almost something magical, no spiritual to confessing sin. Once you do a huge burden or cloud is lifted from your shoulders. You are not alone anymore. You know have a brother to help you carry this burden and support you in the struggle.
Pr 27:17 Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Iron sharpeneth iron; So a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
My best friend is Paul M. He is the greatest man I know and I can and do tell him anything and he tells me anything. What I said above is so true. To have a friend that you can go to at anytime and talk about anything is a great gift. If you donít have someone that you can share with, then go to your pastor and confide in him. There is one extra point Iíd like to mention here. Men, donít talk your problems over with a woman unless it is your wife. Most of you will probably find it very difficult to talk to your wife at this point and I donít blame you. In fact, unless your wife is your ultimate best friend, I suggest finding another man to talk to about this.
The next thing to mention here is avoid getting on the net when you are alone. This point takes some will power. If you have a computer in your office make sure the screen is facing the door so it can be seen by anyone walking by or entering the room. If your problem is at home, then donít stay home alone. Donít say to your self that I can handle it; Iíll just stay off the computer. Satan is much stronger than you are and you will loose the battle. The temptation starts out innocently as you are just looking at normal things on the net, and then before you know it, you are where you did not want to be. Am I right? Be honest. You have to be honest if you want to get out of this pattern of sin.
Here is something I learned recently. Men are very competitive, right?
Right. A good idea when facing sin is to realize that satan wants you to do something against your will. Each time you fall for his lies you are the looser. So, get mad when you are tempted and say out loud; satan I resist you and I am not going to fall for this again. Make it a competition and you be the winner.
Now, the best for last.
Jas 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Be subject therefore unto God; but resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Satan can only harm you if you let him. Use the word of God, the sword of the spirit. Remember what Jesus said: ďGet behind me satan.Ē Command him in the name of Jesus to leave. Tell him aloud: I resist you satan; you must flee from me according to the word of God. This is your most powerful weapon along with a friend you can confide in.
It all starts with a desire to stop what you are doing. I know you want to quit because you are reading this. Remember at the beginning I talked about a formula for stopping sin. Here it is. One plus one equals two. Eliminate any part of an equation and you will not arrive at the sum. So, avoid putting yourself in a bad situation, avoid being alone with your computer, confess to a friend, get mad at satan for tempting you, speak to him with the authority of the word of God and resist him and he will flee.
I donít pretend to think that this will be easy, but if you follow these guidelines I promise it will be easier to avoid and if you mess up, remember this; God love you, you are His child and He will never turn you away, no matter what you do. He purchased you with the blood of His only son and in no way will ever turn you away. He loves you more than anything else in creation. Donít listen to the lies of the devil about any kind of sin. I leave you with this great quote I heard from a great man. ďThe grass may be greener on the other side, but you still have to cut it.Ē God
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