Iíve carried this burden for much too long -
The weight of the things that Iíve done wrong in my past.
Time goes by fast but the irritation seems to last bothering me still.
Guilt and Shame have time to kill they know my name and at times will
Visit my conscience stirring up memories of things Iíve thought that Iíve forgot.
Theyíve planned their plot against my soul to rot in this infection
And though Iíve learned my lesson well and though my conscience has been dragged
Through hell enough for me to know that what I did was wrong-
And though Iíve been forgiven by my victims and forgiven by the Lord in heaven I still suffered
From the things that I know Iíve done.
Then one day I awoke from the twisted nightmare of the devils joke
It was me that Iíve choked the life out of it was me that Iíve ceased to Love and forgive
I needed to let go and live the life that Christ died for Ė
No more of this hatred thereís been way too much life wasted in misery.
I wonít hold these sins against me anymore Iím free to spread these wings to soar on Gods grace
And mercy I wonít let my faults hurt me.
Iím only human after all and not exempt from Adamsí fall.
So then Iíve learned that after I receive forgiveness that Christ has earned
And been forgiven by everyone else Ė
There is still a need to forgive myself.
- Dorian Gonzales
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Excellent, my friend. Tight, to the point, clearly describing the duality of knowing we are sinful and knowing we are forgiven, and trying to live in that "inbetween" world. The only thing that sets us free is knowing more and more of God's grace....