by David Story
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique
The following is an excerpt from the e-book, "Whispers" - featuring the angel Max:
Cindy gazed at the clock on the wall.
She turned her attention back to the magazine on her lap, and flipped through the pages. She was finding it impossible to concentrate, and after another minute, and a few more flipped pages, she closed the magazine.
Her thoughts turned to the fire at the church this morning. She wished she were there, with Jim.
She couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to harm the church, yet her mind couldn’t help but wonder if had anything to do with the whispers.
But right now she had other things to think about.
She glanced at the clock again. It seemed to take so long on this side – the waiting side.
She hated herself for not being honest with Jim. But not wanting anything to happen this time around, she just wanted to wait until she knew for sure.
Her eyes wandered around the room, and she was thankful no one else was there; it would be too uncomfortable if she were to see someone she knew.
As if on cue, the bell tied to the front of the office door jingled and the door swung open.
Cindy prayed it wasn’t anyone familiar.
It wasn’t, and Cindy breathed a sigh of relief.
The stranger walked over to the magazine rack and took one of the periodicals. Sitting down two chairs over, he took off his hat and laid it in the seat between them.
“Good morning,” she said back, then after a moment added, “Doctor’s, huh?”
“Yeah,” the stranger laughed, “but thank God we have them.”
“That’s true, I guess.” Cindy’s nervousness began to subside. “I’m Cindy.”
“Nice to meet you Cindy, I'm Max. I hope you aren’t feeling too sick or anything.”
“Nah…just here for a check-up. How about you, should I move down a chair or two?”
The stranger laughed again. “No, you’re safe. I’m just here for support.”
Cindy didn’t even think to consider that there was no one with him that needed his support.
No one that was – except her.
“That’s nice, it’s always good to have someone in your corner.”
He smiled, and began to read his magazine.
Trying not to be too obvious, Cindy studied the stranger’s face. Reliable. Trustworthy. Maybe she should...no, you’re not really going to tell him are you? Well, why not. Maybe talking to a complete stranger was just what the doctor ordered. She leaned close.
“Can I let you in on a little secret?”
“By all means,” the stranger closed his magazine, offering his complete attention.
“I think I’m pregnant.” There. She’d said it.
“That’s wonderful. You and your husband must be very excited.”
“Well, that’s kind of the problem, I haven’t exactly told him yet. I was going to wait until I heard it for sure from the doctor. That’s what I’m doing here this morning.”
The stranger considered the words. “I see…”
Cindy explained, “I had a miscarriage a few years back. Really took it hard.” She was about to continue when the stranger interrupted.
“Good for you.”
She shook her head. “Excuse me?”
“Good for you that you took it hard. Good for you that you care enough to take it hard. In this day and age, we sometimes forget how precious life is.”
The stranger leaned in closer. “Do you believe that your child is with God in heaven today, this very minute?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.” Tears were forming in her eyes.
“Cindy, we don’t always understand why God allows certain things to happen to us. Things that hurt us, deep down.” He touched his chest, pointing to his heart. “You know the Bible says that God will not allow us to go through anything that we can’t handle. And even now, during this time of rejoicing, there is fear in your heart.” He took her hand and held it in his own. “Fear not, Cindy Mitchell. Let this wonderful miracle be just that…a miracle. Trust God, He won’t let you down. Maggie was for a reason. You may not know this side of heaven why God allowed her to go home before you even got a chance to know her, but you will know one day. And…you’ll be with her one day.”
Cindy was speechless, as she hung on every word.
The stranger continued, “Don’t let the past rob you of the joy you are experiencing now. And when you see your husband…tell him – share this with him. Have courage. Jesus loves you very much. His Holy Spirit lives in you, and He will never leave you, or forsake you.”
Cindy closed her eyes, thanking God for this stranger. This stranger who knows me so well.
“You will tell your husband, yes? You’ll tell him today?”
“Yes. Thank you. I will.”
At that moment the door leading into the examining rooms opened. “Mrs. Mitchell, the doctor will see you now.”
Cindy got up, rubbing her face, as she attempted to dry the tears. She began to walk toward the nurse. Catching herself, she stopped and turned, wanting to thank the stranger one last time.
She found instead only an empty seat, and looked up just in time to see the front door swing open, and then close shut.
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Such a beautiful story, one that can stand alone without being just an excerpt from a book - very nicely done.