At the moment, i'm reading about how to develope the art of listening to God here,in Portugal.
I feel rather frustrated and thirsty for some of His peace.I long for bedtime when i can close my eyes and focus on my Father for refuge.
I cannot get enough of His peace.
Here i sit, on the balcony of a lovely apartment with a perfect view of the Atlantic Ocean,also overlooking a lush garden being watered with sprinklers,lemon trees next to a swimming pool filled with fresh,clean water, food in plenty and all else i could ever want,AND YET...i'm still empty and hungry for God's still and wordless prescence, of which, given the choice,i would gladly exchange all i have for.
That undeniable love, beauty and feeling of joy for which there are no comparisons.
It is strange to consider that i have the same God here in Portugal as i had back in England, and that He is the same and ever present in every language.
There is so much i want to say to my Heavenly Father-so much my bursting heart wants to spill-my exitement,my insecurities,my wonders,questions and dreams. Then i consider, that He not only already knows all my innerness, but also the future of it. What's more, He knows what i will be asking Him in 10 years time from now!
Sometimes, there is a contrast when there are no words to be expressed to our listening God-only feelings,or even just 'being' with Him without requests and expectations.
Just as we would sit with our best friend-able to sit in silence without feeling the need to speak-priceless moments.
I need times of silence,particularly when i'm feeling happy and exited with my life, and feel the urge to simply be contented before God, and offer up a vibe of gratitude.
I know that God wants to speak to each of us if we'd only listen, and i think that part of me is scared of what He might say, or rather,what might be asked of me!
This puts an instant blockage on communication, because in shutting my ears in fear,not only am i missing out on precious words and lifechanging opportunities,but i am giving the message that i am not willing to take challenges and trials from Him-only the blessings!
I need to take the plunge and say,"I am ready Lord to open my heart to Your voice, and will accept whatever You say to me-Your will be done,and never mine."
I recall parts of a famous quote, about someone asking God for good qualities..it goes something like,'Give me chastity and restraint, oh Lord, but NOT YET' !
I'm sure this is not an unusual feeling to have in regards to being willing to leave our comfort zones and getting straight to work on ourselves.It remends me of being quite ready to leap from the diving board yet, and would rather stay where we are, dry and shuffling.
We forget, that once in the water, God will keep us afloat and always guide us to the safety of the shore,or even carry us if need be.I don't think He would ask us to 'jump' if He didn't already know we could swim in His name.
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