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by geoff anderson
09/04/06
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(A middle-aged aunt is seated next to a young teen niece. They are facing the audience.)


NIECE: I'm young
AUNT: I'm old. Actually I'm middle-aged but to my niece here that seems old.
NIECE: She’s ancient.

AUNT: I'm experienced.
NIECE: I'm naive. Actually, I understand a lot about the important things in life but to an old person like my aunt I seem naive.
AUNT: She doesn't know tuppence.

NIECE: I'm enthusiastic.
AUNT: I'm dull. Actually, I feel very strongly about all sorts of issues but I just don't have the time or the energy to do anything about them.
NIECE: She's past it.

AUNT: I like brightly coloured banners
NIECE: (turns to face her) You do? So do I! Why don't we make some?
AUNT: (turns to face her) We couldn't possibly! My sewing's dreadful.
NIECE: I can sew.
AUNT: You? Can you really?
NIECE: But I'm useless at design: do you know anyone who could draw some designs?
AUNT: Why not ask the Sunday School children?
NIECE: (to the audience) Sunday School kids? But they're too -
AUNT: (to the audience) - they're too what?

(Ideally there should be a blackout straight after the last word. An alternative is for the two actors to stand erect straight after that word and walk quickly in opposite directions.)


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