How many times is smut smothered into our everyday lives? Passing the dirty magazines while shopping, that Victoria's Secret staring at you in the mall... and even watching two people just start smooching it out in the middle of the mall can really make us want to dive in and start getting physical with someone. Heck, why should people even bother staying celibate when almost half of the marriages around end in divorce anyway? It almost wants to make us feel good now until something better comes along.
In reality, people don't understand how problematic having sex can be for one's life in the long run. I don't even have to thump people over the head with a Bible to tell you some actual common sense which needs to be brought to attention. Of course, please understand that I'm not saying "don't have sex at all". These are all cases to consider before marriage. Once you finally find the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with, knock yourself out! Repeatedly! Just don't send me the videos, okay?
One final note; these are not necessarily listed in order of priority, as each problem may be considered higher to one person and not another.
Number 10: 'I love you' ain't what it used to be.
No flowers, no movie, you've known one another for two days and you wanna show the dedication you have to the love of your life by sharing your body. When one says 'I love you' in this day and age, it is often times best to finish the sentence. The person you are seeing may want to finish the sentence with "I love you... frequently". Another popular one is "I love you if...". Or how about this one? "I love you, but...". Make sure the definitions of love are known between the two of you! Even if gifts, love letters, and being there for one another are part of the equation; romance does not equal love! Let's face it... fifty years from now, you're not going to be anywhere near as sexy as you are now. If your dearest got into a car wreck and became disfigured or confined to a wheelchair, would you still want to be necking with them? Love is not an emotion but a decision of dedication. It is not always fun, but it is sacred.
Number 9: You avoid playing the dangerous game of STD Pokemon; "Gotta Catch 'Em All!"
You think AIDS is the only thing you have to watch out for? I'm not a statistics monger, but there is no better way to live a long and happy life than to wait until you have met the woman you will spend the rest of your life with. Why shorten it by playing "rushing roulette" with condoms and four partners? After all, statistically, one of those four condoms will break. This also goes for those who may have another sexual orientation than what is expected. Sure... two guys and two girls can't get the other pregnant, but when one out of four sexually active teens have an STD and 80% aren't aware of it (www.getthetruth.com), it can easily be carried over into adulthood unchecked.
Number 8: I'd rather buy an X-Box 360 every month rather than pay child support.
This may sound asinine, but if you are a single man, there are better things to spend money on than a girl with a baby. There are also very predatory girls who use pregnancy as a weapon against guys in this day and age. More guys can be taken to court on child support because they might be the kid's father and spend so much money on lawyers. Also, think of the stress you might have if you love the girl who is the expecting mother and the child ends up not being yours in the first place. Staying celibate stays away from a lot of potential responsibility the both of you may not be willing to take in. The guy could be paying for his new car, and the girl could be hanging out with friends instead of taking care of a baby.
Number 7: No matter where you do it, with whom you do it, or in what position... the wrong people tend to find out.
How many times have you seen it happen? You two have an escapade, they promise not to kiss and tell, but the next day everyone is a buzz about you two getting together and the other significant other that you never knew about wants your throat ripped out. Or how about this one? Her dad has a shotgun, she's underage, and he accidently sees the e-mail you sent her about what a great time you had in the car. Drama is a part of life, but most can agree that we can live a lot better without it. If something is just gossip, you have a lot easier time making it not believable if you keep yourself.
Number 6: The less you look at others, the more people look at you.
Respecting someone can get you light years ahead of people who don't respect anyone (including themselves). If you are known not to be a chaser, people tend to feel safer being your friends and it may open up more opportunities for you in the long run. On the more worldly side, people like the ones who are hard to get. If you are looking for a potential other, making it known that you are "no ice, no dice" will allow you to see people for who they are more easily. For instance, someone who is real pushy to have sex with you when you have made it known what your standards are... are likely uncaring about what you believe and more about the 'hunt' of being the one to take it from you.
Number 5: I make the trends, I don't follow them.
This attitude is highly respected. The celebrities are getting divorced, everyone is having kids early, and people are losing their virginity in grade school. Why should you? Treasure your individuality by not sharing it with anyone. Individualists are a prized novelty, though often reviled by society in general. If you will pardon my language, one of the most defiant gestures you can say to someone starts with an "f" ends with a "k" and finishes with "you". Defy this with another form of defiance, and keep yourself until someone worthy of being one with your being comes along. One may ask; "Why wait for the ring"? Simple! Girls, if he is really ready to take care of you for the rest of your life, the boy will bust himself to get enough money to buy you that engagement ring. Guys, a woman worth taking into your life not only loves you, but respects you. Respect is not won in a day.
Number 4: Hypocrisy is not the best policy.
Going out to all of those who decide they are wannabe zealots for God... you know who I'm talking about. The people who hold up signs in front of places that say "Homosexuality is a Sin" when they are banging every cheerleader on the pom squad or sleeping with the captain of the football team. When you put up signs that also say "Fornication is a Sin" then I might actually take you seriously. If you're going to go out on a crusade against one type of sin, go against all of them that apply, or else stand down before you cast the first stone! People can be so more accepting to a guy who divorced his wife because he was cheating with a mistress than someone who was gay or lesbian. It makes me sick to see how partial people can be when all forms of sex outside of marriage are considered wrong in the sight of God. You shouldn't be slinging stones in the first place when just about anyone lingers a little too long in thinking about doing the nasty... and according to the book, that is equivilent to doing the act. Hate the sin, love the sinner... and sin no more!
Number 3: "I saved this just for you!"
Wow... that's commitment to another person. Doesn't it feel really special that your partner for life actually had forsaken giving it all to someone else until they had met you... before they knew you? Of course, some of us trip up before that happens. A thing to think about, though. If you have messed up in the past with that, it is not too late to start looking the other way and abstaining until that happens. Granted it's a lot harder than for someone who had never done it (because you know how it feels), but to make that commitment even after having done it would be a truly special gift to your loved one. It's a decision saying; "Hey, I'm making a commitment to believe in my future spouse no matter who or where they are!".
Number 2: Happiness and kids.
If you don't like kids, then why try so hard to make one? If you don't know if you like kids, be a babysitter once in awhile and see how much you like it! Yes... guys too. It's amazing how many people who complain about screaming kids in a restauraunt are also sexually active. Can you imagine having to deal with the baby screaming in the middle of the night to get fed? Granted it may be different if it was your kid. In some twisted way, it may be revenge to everyone else who had a crying bundle of joy during your mealtime. Seriously, though, that's the wrong reason to have a kid in your life. Sometimes, people can't have kids who want them. To those who do, keep this in mind; having both parents in the house is proving itself more and more critical for a happy family. Divorce is very traumatic for a child as is going between two houses for the rest of their childhood. If you really want one, please wait until you find someone who will see you through thick and thin before you decide on parenthood. Mentoring is also a good way to give a child what they need until you find the right person to settle down with.
Number 1: You have one life... and sex can cause drastic changes in it.
Whether you are young or old, action brings forth consequence. Sometimes it can bring positive changes, sometimes negative, but it has a high risk of changing it greatly. Are you are ready to face whatever consequences, socially, emotionally, and likely financially? Is she worth it? Is he worth it? Am I worth it? One night of fun can bring a lifetime of pain... or even make your life that much shorter. This is also something to think about when getting married. Can we afford to have kids right now? Did my spouse get everything checked at the doctor's? Knowing the health of your spouse is a crucial thing in planning for the future. If one has heart problems, it may not be a good idea to play too rough during the honeymoon. I am not saying you shouldn't have sex after your married either, but these are real questions that need to be looked at if you are serious about marrying someone.
There you have it... ten very good reasons to stay a virgin until you're married!
(X-Box belongs to Microsoft and Pokemon belongs to Nintendo, the wisdom portrayed here belongs to me, Sarah "Vile" Whitaker!)
Read more articles by Sarah Whitaker or search for articles on the same topic or others.
I couldn't agree more with what you wrote here. This article needs to be read by all young teens before they consider having sex. In many Christian homes, kids are told "don't have sex till marriage" but they are never told why, it us just expected. Or parents may say don't have sex because "it's a sin". Sometimes the word "sex" is not mentioned at all in Christian homes, which leaves the door open for curiosity and experimentation. Young adults are often intrigued by the unknown and they may engage in sexual acts without fully being aware of all the consequences because their parents never sat them down to talk to them about it. If you are a parent and reading this, please talk to your kids about sex because if you don't ever bring it up, how will they know? They will only think of it as that forbidden word and forbidden act that we don't speak of. Remember the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden? The fact that it was simply "forbidden" did not stop Adam and Eve from trying the fruit. They listened to the lies of the snake instead of the Lord their God.