As i browsed the A-Z of where my thoughts are stored,
I pondered on the crowds of those who need to know my Lord.
I visualised their present state of anguish,greed and war,
I even watched my own response-i hated what i saw.
I tried a way that fooled my heart,by dropping leaflets here and there,
Reality hit when i found them torn-this doesn't really show i care.
No,this is deadly serious,and more than spiritual health,
I cannot help a single soul untill i've searched myself.
I thought i had a clear idea-impatience made me slack,
I ran too fast and NOW it's clear-i'll have to travel back.
It takes some solid time to look and battle with your truth,
It can't be dealt without some pain-we must be living proof.
I know now why i shy away instead of speaking out,
My study time is not yet done-it can't be if i doubt.
So now i'm where i'm meant to be,testing out my fickle heart,
Still thrashing out my joy and fears,so one day i can make a start.
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