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A Lifetime of Regrets
by Julia May
Not For Sale
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A Lifetime of Regrets

I was just thinking about regrets. We all have regrets. Some more than others. I know I have plenty. I wish I could undo things done in the past. Things said, things not said. The fact is, we canít undo anything. The past is the past - itís over and done.

When I see my children scarred by my own sins of the past, it is very disturbing. Oh, I canít say I was a bad mother, but I canít say I was a good one either, back in the day. I just wasnít involved enough. I was selfish when my children were young. I didnít take them to church or teach them of Godís wonderful love. I was not living for God during those years. I was angry about lifeís circumstances and blamed Him. My daughters were young adults when I finally surrendered my life back to the Lord. Now they have their own beliefs or should I say ďunbeliefĒ about God and who He is.

I know God does not want us to keep re-living the past but sometimes it is hard not to. I think how would things be different if I had done this or not done that? Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD; thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (KJV) Or as the NIV says: ďto give you hope and a future.ď I cling to these words especially for my children and grandchildren as much as for myself.

I cannot remember not being in church as a young child. Mama says I was 10 days old the first time I went to church. My Daddy and Mama made sure we were in church every time the doors opened. I am very grateful to them for that. It taught me good lessons that I needed while growing up. I accepted Jesus as my Savior at church camp in Oklahoma just before my seventh birthday. I will never forget that night. It is forever etched into my mind and heart. I couldnít wait to get back home and tell my parents. I was so happy. But then as a teenager, I got into the wrong crowd. After my Dad died unexpectantly when I was seventeen, I walked completely away from God. I praise Him for bringing me back. I donít know how I survived those lonely years without him.

I remember singing ďJesus Loves MeĒ as a child but even after my salvation, I donít think I really understood how much He loves me. Sometimes now when I hear that song sung by my grandchildren or any little child, it makes me cry. I want them to comprehend the height and the depth of His awesome love! And it really is awesome. That word is so overused but to me, nothing is more awesome than the love of Jesus.

Jesus love me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so
But did I really comprehend
All the love He put within?

Iíve sang this song all my days
Not understanding Godís Holy ways
I never deserved to be set free
But His death paid the price for me

When I feel His love inside
It just comes out, it cannot hide
He gave me life, made me whole
Iím forgiven, He loves my soul.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so

And I love Him, so very muchÖÖ

Now I make it top priority that all my grandchildren know how much Jesus loves them. I have six; four girls and two boys. All but two of them have been saved and baptized. The two youngest ones, ages 6 and 3 have not yet but I am confident God will call them as they grow a little more. They all go to Sunday School and church with me nearly every Sunday and they love it, just like I did as a child. I pray that God will keep them in His hand all the days of their lives. I pray for your children too. Please, please do not underestimate the importance of teaching your children and grandchildren of Godís wonderful love. Be involved. Ask them what they learned in Sunday School today. Help them understand the lifeís lessons of Godís Word that their little minds canít yet comprehend. They will thank you for it when they grow up. And God will thank you too, when you get to heaven. God Bless you all and please pray for Israel before you go to sleep tonight.

In Christís Love,


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Member Comments
Member Date
Thomas Kittrell 13 Aug 2006
Julia, I was thinking about you today and wondering what the topic of your next submission to Faith Writers would be. Now I know, and I know it is a good one. Thomas
Helen Dowd 13 Aug 2006
God restored to you the years that the locusts had eaten. (That's scripture--don't remember where it's found) But God did that. Even though some of your years were 'eaten by the locusts of the world,' He has allowed you to lead your grandchildren to the Lord. Through your grandchildren, I am sure their parents will come to know the Lord too. Train up a child in the ways of the Lord and when he is old he will not depart from it. Your parents brought you up to love Him. Now you are leading your grandchildren to Him.


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