I was short for awhile. I'm not anymore, or course, but I was
short for awhile.
I remember all the way back in the first grade how great it was
to have it as my trademark. I was a master of hide-n-seek.
Being able to run fast and crawl into the tiniest cubbyhole I
was always the last to be found. And I was always told how cute
I was. First grade didn't last long though.
As time passed and everyone else grew I was stuck in a rut of
being cute and very short. This created in me a concept of
equality between being tall and dominion. Being the power
hungry juvenile that I was, I decided to grow. Immediately I
set about in my plan to be a normal, tall, dominating person.
Every morning at 6:00am I was up doing push-ups, chin-ups,
sit-ups, and pushing down bananas, raisins, plus every vitamin
in the alphabet. All day I would sit up straight and stand next
to people a few grades behind me so that I would get used to
being tall when the time did arrive. At night I'd lean against
a wall and do a head-stand so that more blood would get to the
top. Then, for at least a half hour, I'd hang on the chin-up
bar and let myself stretch out. I was constantly drinking milk
and eating every pea and brusslesprout I could find.
It didn't work. After a year of hard, dedicated labor I
realized that spinach wouldn't change the chromosome makeup in
each of my short cells. Thus, depression set in. I went from
being a short, overseeing, demanding twerp to being a short
underbred whooped puppy.
Again everyone was growing and growing and leaving me farther
and farther behind. Struggling desperately to stay in league
with the guys, I joined the wrestling team. I was the only one
in the 70 lb. weight class, which gave me a perfect record. I
went to the state finals and got the crap beat out of me. Again
I was defeated. My self image took a perfect 89 1/4 degree dive
(Somehow I hung onto 3/4 of a degree with my name.) I started
staying up late and sleeping in. Occasionally I wouldn't take a
shower just for a few more minutes sleep. I ate whenever and
whatever I felt like; the vitamins my Mom gave me to take were
either thrown out the window behind her back or pocketed and
given to the squirrels I met on the way to school. Everything
went down: my weight, grades, personality, social life and my
What the exact day was I'll probably never know, but I realized
again that what I was doing just wasn't doing any good.
They say the third time's a charm and for me it was quite true.
My third step was a step forward. After I took a step, I stood
and became myself. I started being me and not society. Society
calls it growing up.
Since that time I've dedicated myself to the expansion of the
brain and not the bicep. Never again will I be a Lilliputian
mentally. When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood
as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put
away childish things. I was short for awhile. I'm not anymore,
or course, but I was short for awhile.
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Someone once said 'Age is a state of mind'. I'm glad you realise that height, just like weight, color etc. are just external - "it's what proceeds from the heart that matters"
Very good! "If you keep doing what you do, you get what you always got..." Changing your mindset and ways changed your perception and acceptance of yourself, therefore allowing you to live the fulfilled life that you have now. I am short too. Five feet tall. Thirty-five year old mother of three and I didn't like it for years. But now when I look 21 and feel that way too, HEY! it's great to be short for a while. Great writing. Lena