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Grief PLEASE ENCOURAGE
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The Lease
by Kim Sandstrom 
08/09/06
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I signed a lease with grief,

nearly two years ago.

On the line "How long would you like to grieve?"

I wrote in a shaky scrawl....

"As long as I need."

At the question "In what ways would you like to express your grief?"

I wrote in CAPITOLS....

"I will SAY and DO and THINK and BE anything I want for one year,

and at the end of that year,

if I want to renew my contract with Grief,

I will retain the right to renew my lease."

Tonight I stand on the cusp of the third year.

Nearly two complete years have passed.

I renewed my lease with Grief at the end of the first year...

because

I was not ready to stop

thinking, speaking, being, doing

just anything I wanted and needed...

so I gave myself another year.

As I bow and bend in the breeze of the second year passing by me,

I have begged Grief to extend me one week at a time on my contract.

I am not asking for a year anymore...

I am asking for one week more,

one week at a time.

Later, when I am able, I will...

If I can,

ask for one day

at a time

day by day,

starting the week after next,

which will be the first week

of the third year

of my daughter

going to heaven

without me.



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Member Comments
Member Date
Summer Cordon 09 Aug 2006
Kim, this was nice. Often we don't want to leave mourning begind because it's the only thing we have left after a great loss. This was very well communicated.




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