I consider the starting point for true repentance (beyond the Lord’s conviction) to be finally getting to a place where you do not even like yourself anymore due to the sin at stake. This book was born in one of those moments in my life. The Lord had been revealing, for some time, areas in my calling as a wife where I was definitely falling short. I would hear Him, confess my sin, and move on. However, there was never a heart change. After this cycle repeated itself several times, I think that the Lord finally allowed some circumstances in my life to arise that would draw me to an honest evaluation of my heart.
My ten-month-old daughter was in the hospital due to a serious infection, and my world was spinning. I was searching my heart for what I had done wrong to get to this point. Although, I do not believe that my daughter being in the hospital was punishment from God, I do feel that God used my desperation to show me some areas in my life He wanted to clean up. So, at my point of weakness I was ready to see what He had been trying to show me all along, and boy was it ugly!
I finally saw the way I had been treating my husband and dishonoring my calling as wife through God’s eyes, and I was heartbroken. I was disgusted at the way I had acted and broken that I had caused grief for my husband and the Lord. I firmly believe that it is only at that moment of disgust and brokenness that true repentance can take place. I began a diligent pursuit of the Lord and asked that He would clearly guide me through the truth of His holy Word. I needed to know exactly what was expected of me, what was my clear role in our home, how I could practically meet my husband’s needs and honor the Lord by doing so. I can say with complete confidence that He is faithful to answer those who call to Him with a sincere heart. “I sought the Lord and He answered me;” Psalm 34:4
The best part of this study for me though, was that this time there was hope. I knew I was not doing this on my own. He had opened my eyes, He had guided me through His Word, and now He would empower me to change. It was no longer about Debra, how she had failed in the past or what she could accomplish in the future. It was all about Jesus and what He was going to accomplish in my life. “...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
My heart is to share some practical things that I have learned through my personal search and study that have radically changed my husband's life and mine. My prayer for you is that in the pages to come, you will find conviction in some areas of your life, encouragement in others, the truth of God’s desire for us as women, freedom to be that beautiful woman, and excitement for all you have to offer the kingdom of God through your role as a wife.
I would like to stress emphatically that this is not meant to be a “how to” book or a checklist to being a godly wife. This is what I feel is a glimpse into the heart of God for His beloved daughters. These are traits that our Father demonstrates daily in His relationship with us along with some very practical ways that we can emulate His character in our relationships with our husbands.
I want to begin on a note of hope and assurance of God’s power and His promises. Take the words of the prophet Isaiah, hide them deeply in your heart (Psalm 119:11), and trust in a great, faithful and loving Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”
Isaiah 55:9-12 (emphasis added)
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