“Father,” he prayed. It felt good to again call his God by that name and not just be paying lip service. In all his heartache and despair, he was overjoyed to find that God was with him still. Of course God had been with him all along, but he had shrugged him off, eager to pursue the world. Now was different, he could no longer live life as a hypocrite. He had to dedicate anew his life to the Lord.
“Help me, heal me please. I admit I messed up. For years I’ve been a child of yours. And when I first began my walk with you, I even led a few people to your cross.” Where had that zeal gone he thought to himself as he knelt on his living room floor praying aloud with his tears dripping from his face, great sobs occasionally escaping him. “But I went astray,” he continued, “seeking to fulfill my flesh. You say in your word Lord, that whatever I sow, I shall reap. And Lord if this despair and pain from my family falling apart with this divorce isn’t that, then I don’t know what is.”
It felt freeing to again share his feeling with his Father, but what he needed, he knew, was forgiveness.
“Forgive me Lord. I’ve fallen off the path and have become like the world. Restore me please. To have you live in me is not enough. I want to walk alongside you again I want to enjoy the relationship we had once before.” It had been ages since he had enjoyed true fellowship with his god. He had followed suit after the church of Ephesus and left his first love. Recalling those verses back to memory, he remembered Jesus’ solution to their situation, how to get back on track. Repent and do the first works. That was the answer.
Getting up off the floor, he wiped his eyes and made his way to his study. He needed his Bible. A few moments later, he sat behind his desk with his Bible out in front of him. When he was a child, he would open his Bible to random pages and read from there, hoping to find a verse that seemed specifically aimed at him. He did that now.
He opened his Bible up to page six hundred and forty-two and scanned it for a verse that popped out at him. Running his eyes down chapter forty of the book of Isaiah, he stopped at verse six.
A voice says, “Cry out.”
And I said, “What shall I cry?”
“All men are like grass, and their glory is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
Because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flower falls,
But the word of God stands forever.”
After reading those verses, all the pretense fell away and he willingly gave into it. He was disgusted at what he had done with the time God had given him. In the worlds economy he was somebody. Biblically, he was as a flower in the field; he was grass and both the grass and flowers fall, but the word of God stands forever.
Sitting before his Bible, he bowed his head again to pray. “Lord, thank you for revealing yourself to me. Thank you for the assurance that you’ll be with me through this turmoil. And thank you Lord for forgiving me. Point me in the right direction and guide me. Bring me close to you.” When asking to be pointed in the right direction, a thought came to him. The right direction is seeking the Lord and growing in him. The right direction was getting the Gospel out and leading unbelievers to Christ. That was worth his time. Not investing in the world.
Finishing up his prayer, he knew that his Dad had forgiven him. He once again had a Friend and Confidant in the Lord. He knew that he had a mission, and now after all this time he again had a heart and desire to fulfill it. With his King guiding him, he felt confident at his task: seek and save the lost.
The life we have on this planet is like a vapor in the wind, here today with no promises of tomorrow. Its time to do something with the time God has given us. Its time to do something that will last for eternity.
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