1: You know what? Rachel Hunter emailed me yesterday.
2: Rachel Hunter?
1; yeah. She wanted to come and stay with me.
2: Youíre kidding.
1: She said she didnít like her motherís house and she would visit her but stay with me when she came next to New Zealand.
3: I find that hard to believe.
2; Like when did you meet her.
1: We met on the chat rooms.
3: She wouldnít use chat rooms. Sheís got friends.
1: Well she said she was very lonely and she wanted to talk so we chatted about stuff.
2: You shouldnít use the chat rooms. You donít know who youíre talking to. I bet it wasnít Rachel Hunter. It was just someone pretending to be her. Sheís having you on.
1: No it was her. She told me all this personal stuffÖ.about her mother and her boyfriend. No one else could have known that stuff.
3: Iím not listening to this rubbish. Youíre deceived or else youíre lying.
1: Wow. You donít believe me. I knew no one would believe me. This is so typical. When anything good happens to me no one believes me. Iíll never share anything with anyone ever again. I hate you guysÖ.(rushes off)
2; man what did me do?
3; How does she expect us to believe that stuff. Sheís verging on becoming a total pillock.
2: Hey thatís a bit rough.
3; Well a cretin then O.K. Sheís unusual, and a liar.
2: Well maybe she was just fooled. That doesnít make her a liar.
3: So she must be a cretin then, or a moron.
2: Sheís just unfortunate, easily deceived. Donít call her those names.
3: Iíve got to call her something. Sheís different, she needs a name, a label. Sheís dangerous, a walking time bomb. She could get recruited by Osama Bin Laden. He could ring her and tell her heís the power guy reading her meter and get her to make bombs and stuff.
2: Dream on. Whoís got the big imagination now?
3: Well something could happen top her if she believes anything anyone tells her.
2: She is a bit of a worry.
3; Yeah letís agree on that. Sheís a bit of a worry. A bit of a worry. Thatís better than nothing. Why are you so nice. You embarrass me with my need to name and label people and create new terms of abuse for them.
2: Yeah well youíre just very creative with language.
3: there you go being nice again. Just call me a judgmental swine, a hypocritical beast, a fascist bully, a nazi interrogatorÖ
2: Yeah o.k. Youíre a fascist bully.
3: You say it so nicely though. Itís when you tell your dog off. You say bad dog and the dog licks you. It thinks youíre praising it for eating the cat or something. The tone of voice is important. Let me train you. You fascist bully, and curl your lips.
2; laughs. Come on, letís go home.
1: Hey guess what. It wasnít Rachel Hunter in the chat room. It was someone masquerading as her.
3; Wow. Fancy that.
2: We did warn you..
1: You wonít believe who it was.
3: Osama Bin Laden?
1: How did you know? He was ever so nice. He wanted to come and read my power meter.
3: I donít believe this.
1: You never believe me.
2: But you donít understand. Thatís what we talked about yesterday, that he might pretend to read your meter and then trick you into making bombs or something.
1; He didnít mention bombs. He said he wanted to help me understand God and the World crisis.
3: Sure it wasnít Jehovahís witnesses?
1: No he called himself a Muslim. And he wanted peace. He was very sweet.
3; Oh my Gosh and you believed him. Listen that wasnít Osama Bin Laden. He doesnít talk to school girls. Heís in a cave directing attacks against America. Anyone could fool you. Youíre a worry.
1: Iím not a worry am I 2?
2: ÖAh..ah.yes I think you are a bit gullible. Itís not likely is it that Osama Bin Laden would come and read your power. I mean does he work for the power board or something?
3; yeah is he like an unemployed terrorist? Got a new job? Become a refugee cos itís too dangerous for him?
1: Iím going. You guys never believe me. Iím never going to share anything with you again.
3: Gosh am I turning into a witch? I foretold that would happen.
2: This is very weird. I donít like it. We should tell a teacher. 1 is in danger.
3: No! Donít tell a teacher. Weíll sort it out.
2: How? Do you want to pray?
3: No! I mean weíve got to be practical. Iíll think of something. Iíll call you.
2: So whatís going to happen next?
3; Donít tempt me. I donít know. Maybe sheíll be invited to go to the Antarctic by Sherpa Tensing. Iíll ring you laterÖbyeÖ
1 & 2 meet
1: Whereís 3? Sheís late.
2: I donít know. She was going to ring me but she didnít and when I rang she was engaged.
1: Sheís always on the internet.
2: Really? I didnít know she was connected.
1: Sheís an addict. I meet her in the chat rooms all the time. She calls herself sea slug.
2: Lovely. So cuddly.
1: Sheís always pretending things and playing games.
2: Like what?
1: Like sheís someone else and giving weird instructions to people.
2: So what happened to you last night. Anything weird?
1: Not really. It wasnít really Osama Bin Laden calling me. I donít know why I believed it. But I got a call from the South Pole. Thereís someone living there called Slurper tense something.
2: Sherpa Tensing?
1: yeah. He wanted me to come and visit.
2: 1. Thereís something you should know. I think I know whatís been going on.
2: You believe me now? I know it was from the Antarctic because there was a little snowman at the bottom of the page.
1: 1, 3 has been tricking you. She pretends to be all these people calling you but itís just her. Then she pretends to not know about it and predict whatíll happen next. Iím sorry. Sheís been lying to you.
1: Wow. You called her a liar. Iíve never heard you judge someone before. Youíre always so nice.
2: Well I donít think itís a judgement exactly, itís more like a fact. And if I were you I wouldnít worry about whether Iím nice or not but what about your friend whoís been deceiving you?
1: yeah I guess thatís bad. But it was kind of fun.
2; Youíre crazy! Like do you enjoy being deceived and mucked around. I wouldnít like anyone doing that to me one bit.
1: Well Iíll talk to her about it.
2: talk? Well itís up to you. I personally like to confront her but I guess itís not my business anymore. Iíve warned you.
1: yeah so youíve got nothing more to do with it. Sheís meeting me here in a few minutes.
2: Iím going.
1: Yeah so you donít want to be friends with me any more? What about 3?
2: I never said that! Wow youíre so manipulative.
1; And youíve become very judgmental. Iím surprised at you.
2: Iím leaving before I blow my stack.
1: Wow, an anger management problem.
2: Aarrrh! ( 2 leaves, 3 rushes in)
3; Iím sorry, Iím sorry. I was really naughty. Did 2 tell you?
1: Yeah she guessed. You were really naughty.
3; yeah I know. But wasnít it fun?
1: I did enjoy being famous for a while. But you wouldnít believe how exercised 2 got. You called you a liar and a deceiver and called me crazy and manipulative.
3: Wow. What a jerk. I would never have thought it of her.
1: Yeah sheís so judgmental.
3: My thoughts exactly. And she thinks sheís a Christian!
1: What a hypocrite.
3; Sheís certainly not my friend anymore.
1: nor mine.
(They wander off while saying these last four lines)