Family
From the moment you entered my life, Little Sister, everyone and everything tried to keep us apart. It started with Mom’s abuse of you. We were forced to tell on you when you sat on the furniture, watched t.v., tried to sneak a bite to eat, or when you let your arms swing naturally while walking. Discipline was a sure thing if we didn’t let Mom know about your breaking her unrealistic demands. Watching the physical abuse daily taught us to treat you with cruelty. Being children, we didn’t know any better.
Dad’s alcoholism didn’t allow him to stand up to Mom but in return, he favored you the best he knew how by buying material things. It hurt us all very much when he called you “Cinderella” and referred to us as the “Stepsisters”.
As I grew older, I started to see that maybe the problem wasn’t with you and me but that our parents’ issues kept us apart. It started to break my heart to see you getting up before the faint winter sun to take care of the cattle in the biting cold with only a thin coat and no gloves to protect your little hands. The time your hands were frostbitten and you cried all day in kindergarten, I secretly worked on a pair of gloves cut from my favorite blanket. Each day after school I’d hand sew through the layers of fabric and batting until my fingers were cut and calloused. Fear of rejection caused me to never give that gift to you.
In the moments that our natural sisterly love were revealed, Mom played mind games to tear us apart. She could not stand to see her kids getting along. After she left us to take care of Dad, your anger towards her was transferred to me for I was the oldest and took on the motherly role.
As I grew older and had my own family, I could not convince you that I truly loved you for your heart was hardened. The walls of protection from years of hurt were rock solid and would not allow anyone in.
You suddenly fled far away from the family. You had to, I understand. But do you know what, Little Sister? Nothing can keep us apart for through the years of abuse, I grew to love you and to learn from you. I stood up to Mom in your defense and in return, you taught me forgiveness and hope. Regardless of the situation, you held on day after day, year after year.
We took care of Dad and the home together. As we forged his name on checks to pay the bills and poured water to dilute his Vodka, a sisterly bond had formed. Cooking meals with hardly any ingredients, huddling under three quilts from the moment we got home from school until the next morning due to not having heat, and learning a hundred ways to convert bread sacks into toys brought us closer together. We sometimes forgot about the mother-daughter role that we played; me giving you orders, you reluctantly obeying.
Year after year and state to state, we’d visit and many times old emotions and unresolved issues would arise. Family members would play mind games and spread rumors due to their insecurities. Sometimes we’d allow them to affect us and would not speak for months or even years.
As we grew in our separate lives with our own husbands and children, we matured in our individual ways. Slowly we realized how so much alike we are; how we're growing together. Now we are inseparable with a sisterly bond that no one and nothing can break. Although family rumors and backstabbing still occur, occasionally haunting memories still expose themselves, and the miles between us is tremendous, NOTHING CAN KEEP US APART!
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Excellent writng-it pulled at my heartstrings. It's a tragedy you had to endure such abuse.
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