For several months I have been depressed and feeling rejected by God and man.I was convinced that I would never have another oppurnity to serve the lord in a church setting again.
I had tried for many years to pastor a church again.I have been praying for God to open doors to a ministry, now nearing my sixty-fifth birthday, I wondered if god had any use for an old man, who had faithfully served him since he was eighteen years. My only though is for one last chance to serve the lord before he calls me home. I donít want to be on self pitty trip.
Sitting home alone God spoke to me in a voice that seemed to ring through my mind and heart like a fire bell.
Enough! And like a moving picture flashing through my mind, he showed me all the answered prayers I have had even unto this very moment.
When you were a young band leader and gang leader I sent a young women to witness to you, through her you were brought to church, where I spoke to your heart direct , you answered my call to salvation and through the prayers and help of others you didnít know you were able to serve in church along side some of my best men, you lead youth groups, taught Sunday school and witnessed door to door winning others to the lord while I was preparing the way for your education in my service.
I opened door for you to speak at churches you had never seen even before you received a license and ordination to pastor, you were holding meetings in missions and other places I opened the doors. You want to start a Evangelistic, I sent men and women to help you, I supplied your every need. Not always what you thought you needed,but what I knew you needed. You helt revivals allover the area I gave you. My eyes filled with tears as he told me what he had done through me. I made it possible for you to go to college without finishing high school one special scholarship, you received your bible training and a B.A. degree in Theology and Bible.
I opened the door for radio ministry for you and you preached over fifteen station daily reaching thousands you will never see until you come home. I helped you build several churches from the ground up building and people, you always had the things you needed. I never told you it would be easy, but I was there with you all the time. Rember when you got word that a bunch of boot legger in the mountains would kill you if you came there to hold a tent meeting,I cried as I rembered the angel he sent to let me know all was well and the meeting went on as planned and souls were saved,.
Later I sent you to Memphis theological seminary to finish your education, all this time you spoke every Sunday and some weekdays, all the while I supplies y you with a secular job that would support you without hindering your service to me. Rember how you taught a Jacksonville bible college a course on evangelism. Later you wanted to serve through writing and I got you a computer and course on that as well, you have two web sights where you are sending out my word daily. You may not see the results, but I do. What are you so sad and grieved?
Buy lord I s aid I want another church or a ministry that will do something great for you before I d die and leave this earth, I prayed and you continue to open doors for jobs for me, and I am thankful for that, the job I now have you opened the door I know, the people I work for there are very good and care about my wellbeing, I am thankful for that, forgive my complaining and questioning you lord. I will try to do better with your help. This story or confession you may think, does not tell the half of what God has done for me. Lord I feel so humble.I can never explain how or why God choose me.