One of the greatest enemies to experiencing true love is one of the most widely known but least understood. It is commonly classified as baggage. Everyday this seemingly invisible monster corrodes the best of relationships, marriages and intentions.
Distressingly, some men and women, unwittingly struggle with their own baggage, short-circuiting their opportunity for a nutritious and healthy love. Are you one of those individuals? This article will walk you through this touchy subject and guide you to restoration, hope and rejuvenation so you don’t “Don’t Claim Baggage Pain!”
Sir, Ma’am, Where’s My Baggage?
Frequent flyer miles, checking baggage, dodging folks, and darting through crowds not to miss a flight are the mundane happenings of airport life. Once travelers arrive at their destination, they wait for baggage. It can be a taxing event on the body and especially on the emotions.
When bags aren’t waiting, some travelers become indignant because something important to them is missing. If we look at the disfigured facial features of people while they are lugging, checking, and claiming their baggage, you’d think losing the load might be a good thing. The truth is; for various reasons we are emotionally attached to our baggage and react when our possessions are not where they’re supposed to be.
What Is Baggage?
When it comes to sex, love gone astray, failed marriages; I call our need to carry around this burdensome load; “B.A.G.G.A.G.E .” It is Burdens Attached Grievously, Gradually And Given Egregiously.
The Lingering Effects…
Life sometimes resembles airport hustle and bustle. We become frequent flyers who shuffle and scramble through life’s gates looking for missing emotional baggage that should remain lost. If we can’t find the precious items, we feel naked. Unfortunately, many people who carry harmful baggage don’t realize it’s there until someone who truly loves and sincerely cares about them, brings it to their attention.
Although it grieves them to carry it, regrettably, some men and women are happily married to their B.A.G.G.A.G.E. Some of them unwittingly give it away to others egregiously. To give this load to another person is a mistake. When the symptoms of baggage pain shows up in relationships, ugly events happen to people. Burdens given grievously hurts the owner and the receiver.
Like in an airport, the claim checker receives the brunt of the anger for baggage gone astray. So in relationships, people who carry B.A.G.G.A.G.E hurt those closest to them.
In the marketplace of relationships, men and women sometimes carry dead baggage from days gone by. They fly from relationship to relationship like a human jetliner with the belly of their emotional souls stuffed with molestation, divorce, financial ruin, regret, abuse and many issues relived on the reel-to-reel screen of their minds. Some call this baggage “soul ties.” The knot of past baggage eventually warps self-esteem and confidence.
Others feel naked if they allow —yesterday’s baggage—which is so obviously dangerous to be ripped from their identity like a limb torn from a body.
Baggage that stands like a constant pillar internally must be torn down by the wrecking ball of God’s truth which sets men and women free.
Is Baggage Defining You?
Baggage is a prop that serves as a substitute for intimacy and prevents us from adopting healthy rules of engagement for life. If we allow it, baggage will define who we are and will prevent us from realizing the many positive benefits of letting this oppressive load go. Instead, we spend precious time looking for the past and keep it tied to our lives like an oppressive ball and chain.
Some wear their B.A.G.G.A.G.E. like cheap gold-plated jewelry. Their B.A.G.G.A.G.E. corrodes and eats away at any and every relationship they enter into. If God put you together for life, why allow baggage to put it asunder.
Some need baggage to fake it and make it. With their claimed pain, they morph into another person and become a changeling.
You say, “What’s a changeling?” It’s a Star Trek alien who can appear in different forms when necessary. For example, pain, anger and joy can transform who we are from the inside out. If life’s circumstances can define us, then the experiences can change us. One minute we’re having a good time dancing to the music of life, then suddenly we come out the box and attack because something triggered a nerve because a piece of our baggage went missing and set off a roadside bomb from our past.
Too many relationships turn out like the song from the Carol Burnett show: “I’m so glad we had this time together. Just to have a laugh or sing a song; seems we just get started and before you know it, comes the time we have to say so long.” We dive into a thirty-minute commitment for sex, then say good-bye and off we go into another relationship, pouring hurt into innocent people. This is the baggage of a disastrous relationship. So get the junk out of the trunk of your life.
The Man or Woman In The Mirror Must Become Real
There was a time I wouldn’t admit I carried Burdens Attached Grievously, Gradually And Given Egregiously around my mind like a precious emerald. I held onto my baggage claim ticket of yesterday’s vexing pain. I had my red wagon stacked and piled high with rotting junk. I pulled and carried the wagon pain for years.
At times, when incidents arose, my baggage became defense mechanisms at my disposal to camouflage myself and my pain from whomever I thought were predators.
B.A.G.G.A.G.E destroyed my ability to connect on an emotional level. It created static in my communication with women. But I learned not to claim baggage pain. I learned to eliminate it. So the only option is to dump the junk out of your wagon.
Instead of destroying a God-ordained relationship with consuming pain, take disappointment as an opportunity for an appointment with Christ. Turn despair into repair. No wonder they call Him (Jesus) the Carpenter. Flip distraction into action and act on God’s Word. Grab discord and get in one accord with God. Come out of doubt into clout. Don’t stay in delay but pray. Use belief and drop disbelief. Empty dullness and fill up with His fullness.
Carry The Best Baggage!
If you just want some baggage for baggage’s sake, at least carry some that’s going to strengthen your spirit. Here’s what Jesus says about His baggage in Mathew 11: 28-30: “Come, unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (KJV).” Start experiencing the piece of God that surpasses all understanding [and misunderstanding]. The baggage and pain was on Calvary’s cross, why claim it?
Frank Chase Jr., BA., is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur living in Huntsville Alabama. His book False Roads To Manhood, What Women Need To Know; What Men Need To Understand is available from the publisher at: www.fcpublishing.com. Or Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble.com Email: firstname.lastname@example.org