I live in a white ocean that has a dark island
I know I have to roll out the moment you are silent
I laugh & play in the ocean, enjoy with all my friends
But when you turn blue our friendship comes to an end
One & two & three & four they all step out
I wish you could see me weep & hear me cry aloud
To me, oh friend, you are so special & precious like a gem
I hope next time you are sad, youíll remember this poem
And do not cry to make me part with all my dear kin
In return Iíll pray that your times donít stay the same
__Good morning or, afternoon, evening, or night Joyce. Here is another review. Oh, when shall I hear again from you?__ "Tear Drop"
*Straight: As with "The Day I heard Your Sickness" this poem seems to be written in reaction to a personal struggle, especially, with a hospitalized person who has a serious physical illness. Could it be the same person as in the aforementioned poem? Phrases like: "I know I have to roll out the moment you are silent" and "Iíll pray that your times donít stay the same" support this thought. I hope you found strength in writing this poem as you dealt with that person. **I picked up the rhythm easy enough, and it's a rather simple and melancholy one as dictated by the words "dark island". ***The end words don't rhyme perfectly, but this is good as it fits the gloomy, irritated mood of the poet. And I'm particularly glad there are no misspelled words to add to the irritation!
*Crooked: I don't know that it would be fair to comment negatively since this piece is personal. I do wish it were longer as I would like more clarification as to why you have to leave when he/she is "silent", "turns blue", or is "sad". And I do wish you'd attempt more complex mechanics in your poetry like, a harder rhyme scheme or with a different cultural voice. But this prose reads as if you wanted some place to put your thoughts down about what you were feeling at the time.
__And there you have it, a shorter review with more good things to say than bad--you're welcome! Father, thank you for moving Joyce to release her emotions in writing this piece. I pray for whomever it was written for that you would change the times that this person finds themself in. And though this prayer is some three years removed from those events, I pray that You would remind Joyce and everyone involved that You are in control of all things. Amen.__